it's my life

lots of happenings..but check this out..PLEASE!

2011-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Hey, I know i don't post here much..probably cuz i have another blog (hint hint). But this little family from my town was hit by tragedy this past week and it has really affected everyone around us. John, the father, is a cousin of one of my best friends from High School, and someone I have known since I was 10. I also happen to work with him now, he is a EMT here in our county and is generally just a great guy. His wife Alicia is a kindergarten teacher. There daughter, Briley, is 3 and got diagnosed with Leukemia last week. (ALL-sub type B). Check this out.

http://teambriley.blogspot.com/

I challenge you...

2010-12-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

TO READ! here is a link...

http://readitbykara.blogspot.com/2010/12/book-challenge.html

ENJOY!

i am cool

2010-09-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

or i think so at least! check out my book review on the blue bookcase!! hopefully they like me and will pick me as the next book reviewer!!

http://thebluebookcase.blogspot.com/2010/09/guest-review-girl-with-dragon-tattoo-by.html

new blog...

2010-07-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

I made a new blog for me AND rex...so yeah..check it out.

http://rexandkara.blogspot.com/

a week apart...or something like it...

2010-05-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

I spent May 4-13th away from my new cute husband (for reasons i myself can't always explain). I went to Maui as previously planned with Melmer(aka Melissa) from the 5-12th and the other days were travel days to and from Utah. I loved being able to see Bobbi and Vicki again (and Melmer..duh). The flight over to Maui was somewhat long (5.5 hrs) and yet not that bad..after being up since 3:30 am Utah time we arrived in Maui around noon, got the rental car, and once we had gotten some supplies headed to the resort. Along the drive it was pretty amazing to see the ocean from the car..and literally the beach is right off the road, as well as beautiful sugarcane fields and flowers of all kinds. We spent lots of time on the beach, as well as exploring the island of Maui (including two harrowing trips on the infamous Road to Hana..beautiful..but harrowing). Daily, I would be texting Rex from the moment I got up till the time he called me or went to bed at night, and sometimes (ok, alot of times) I would hang up the phone after saying goodnight and with tears in my eyes and think...why am I here again? I thought alot about those super strong women in my life that are seperated from their spouses for long periods of time, and I wonder how they make it through the bad days. Do not get me wrong, Hawaii was beautiful, amazing even and I am grateful that I was there and had the experience. I also am even more acutely aware of how much I need my husband, and based upon how much I missed him, I don't plan to be apart from him again any time soon. I tried to send pics to some of you along the way..but here are some more....

this is the new me!

2010-04-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

i am now a married lady. :) funny thing, I LOVE IT! (and i very very much love my adorable husband!). i expect that i will be starting a new blog dedicated to our new life together, but for now i will try to keep everyone updated. Rex and I got married on Tuesday March 30th if you didn't already have that information. We left Utah on Thursday and arrived back in TEXAS last night so I could be ready to start work today (and by ready, I mean showered and in clean scrubs that had to be found in the back of a very packed truck). I am very excited to start a new job and a new life with this wonderful man. He makes every day better for me and brings many many smiles to my face! Many of you have met him, and the rest of you will! So back to work I go, to experience the art of becoming a "new" employee in a place that i used to be familiar with, and be in charge of people and situations that used to be in charge of me. With Rex by my side and a roof over our heads (ok sure it is my parents' roof, but just go with it) I can tackle anything! Love you all! :)

i wish i had pictures...

2010-03-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

I just got back into town yesterday after taking off on Saturday at about noon (yes, it was my birthday). We had intended to go down to St George to hit up the outlet mall, go swimming, and just generally enjoy it being warm there. A couple hours down the road we start talking about going to Vegas instead, good idea?! I have an even BETTER one..why don't we just keep on going today until we get to the beach in california!!?? So we did. It was the most random road trip ever, and it was so filled with funny things and such a great time with Vicki and Bobbi. I love those girls and I will miss them dearly, so this road trip to have for the memory bank is just great. Perhaps pictures will come later. But perhaps the pictures and me telling you would not do the trip justice. Maybe you had to be there! Either way it was so much fun and even though sleep was rare and driving was plentiful it was the best birthday ever!!

BIG NEWS

2010-03-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

pay attention to this one!! I got offered a job in Texas today..and I took it!! So..that means that I will be leaving Utah within the next couple of weeks! I have nothing against Utah, and I love all of you that are here with me, but my life has taken an unexpected turn and this job was too good to pass up, when considering that I have been praying for awhile about what I needed to do and where I needed to go. It is an amazing opportunity that will bring me closer to my dear family and those babies that are being born by the minute (kidding)! Not to mention give me a chance to see that guy that has my heart!! I am very excited!!! So officially I will start my new job in Texas on April 5th..so about 3 weeks from now..so I better go get started packing....this will take awhile!!

when sleep eludes...

2010-03-09T03:11:00.000-08:00

I blog. I stalk everyone's facebook/blog. I read books. It is the blogging that I am here about. It has been neglected lately, and not because I lack the things to fill the blog, simply because I have been spending my time otherwise engaged. I love my life. I am dating an amazing, funny, caring guy who will in fact stay up all night talking to me on the phone because I am a night person and he knows I don't want him to go. He will also stay up all night to text me the minute I get off work (how did he know that I had just had one of the worst nights EVER?), basically it was adorable and it made me so happy. He is great. He was an unexpected addition to my life, not that I am complaining in ANY way. I welcome the changes that have come to my life since he has entered it (or re-entered...) Just so we are all clear, in case the message was lost in translation. I am in love. (why yes, he HAS bewitched me, body and soul.. :) ) Every day we take a new step and I am learning how to be in a relationship, and while I am not perfect at it, we are taking these steps together. I couldn't be happier (unless of course, we lived in the same state...). That's enough gushing for one blog I should think. :)

ode to bobbi

2010-02-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

Bobbi Rae is not just my friend and roommate. She is someone I can talk to about anything and everything, and makes me laugh. And even though she cleans my room for me, this is not the reason I keep her around!! She is the french to my fry, the star to my rock, and the ho to my pimp!! Without her, I would be lost. I love you Bobbi!!

i heart books

2010-02-09T00:20:00.001-08:00

as you all well know. so here is a new blog dedicated to this love of my life. books.

http://readitbykara.blogspot.com/

if you are a book-lover or are interested in becoming one, enjoy!

smile

2010-02-08T00:04:00.000-08:00

I love to talk about things that make me happy. There are many and many things in my life that bring me down and this past week has been emotionally draining, especially at work. So to help me see past those times and those moments when the world gets me down, I just want to, for a brief interlude, point out the beautiful things in my life. Just go with it...
*Having a trip to Maui in 3 short (hopefully very short) months
*Rex. I could elaborate, but I think it is not necessary, and perhaps not the forum for it!
*Talking things out with Bobbi and Vicki, we can just curl up and talk it all over.
*Learning to curl my hair, and make it look pretty (or close to it..lol)
*Talking on the phone. To all of you. To Rex.
*Text messages. Send them my way. I am an addict
*Trying new foods, haven't done this in a while, but if anyone has any suggestions...
*Melmer. She is a super great friend (and my Maui travel companion)..I am glad we work together!
*My bed. It is comfy, and warm, and one of my best purchases to date
*Books. And books.
*Milkshakes from in-n-out..ok lets face it..milkshakes in general
*Looking forward. So many wonderful possibilities ahead. I feel so positive and excited about it all!!
*Church. Crazy things happen in the midst of bringing us all closer to Christ. It is awesome!

I think that is sufficient. I feel better and more invigorated to face the things ahead. Reminds me of the hymn "count your many blessings", makes me realize all the fantastic things and people in my life. Thank you all!! Love. And late.

it's new...

2010-02-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

it is proving to be difficult for me to put into words what i want to say, which as it happens, seems to be a rather frustrating trend for me recently. regardless, i do want to share this bit of happiness with you. and i say and mean happiness. and excitement. there is a guy in my life. a funny, smart, kind, caring wonderful guy. a guy that lives in texas...which makes things only slightly more difficult. i don't have all the answers, or this whole thing figured out, but i do know that i care about him, and am more than ready to go on this journey with him. for your sake and mine, i will leave it at that, as communication is not my strong point at the moment. :) take care, loved ones, and know that my level of happiness is not conveyed at all by this post.

i am not a duck

2010-01-24T21:24:00.001-08:00

I realize that for those of you that know me even a little bit, know that I wear my heart on my figuratively sleeve. I have given up trying to hide my feelings, because lets be honest, it doesn't work anyway! It is part of my life to get razzed about stuff on a daily basis, and I typically let it roll off my back..after giving the razzer the desired dramatic reaction. Until there is this one day, when it just becomes too much and I yell. Akward moments in my life. I really try to hold it in, but there are those people in the world that can get under my skin, and I end up acting like a complete idiot. It happens, I know, but I still don't know how to control it. At work today they were talking about us nurses and who they like giving a hard time to, and well, it was very evident that they thoroughly enjoyed giving me crap because I am NOT a duck.

hey steve

2010-01-15T23:44:00.000-08:00

Ok so the title has very little to do with the content of the post. I am simply quoting a very funny movie that I am watching, Multiplicity. I haven't really felt like posting any events or thoughts in the last little while. This is not a reflection of joy I experienced or the people that I spent time with. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my mom here in Orem, and on the 34 hours total we spent in the car rides to and from Texas. I loved seeing all my siblings, and my kids. Loved watching North South, and being able to spend time with Ry. I love you all. This however, is not the reason for the post...
I need to follow-up on the happenings with the dentist. So first after 2 1/2 weeks with the initial temporary crown, I went in for my permanent, and it was the wrong shade. So they had to rush order another one, and back on the temporary goes. On the 23rd of December I went in and got my very pretty permanent porcelain crown that was ALMOST worth all the pain and suffering I had been through. Until..christmas day when sure enough a corner of the crown chips off. SERIOUSLY!? I leave for texas because this dentist debacle is not ruining my time with my family. We return on Wednesday the 6th, I go in on the 7th for them to try to fix the crown, to no avail. It must be replaced. Drat. Here comes the numbing needles. I must interject that the dentist did such a better job getting me numb. And he pulls the crown, molds are made, and a new temporary is fashioned. Forward to about 6 hours later, eating a breadstick from The Pie (delish), and my temporary rips off, and is still in, but the cement is not holding. It is simply precariously jammed between my two teeth. Friday morning approaches and I get it fixed. No problem. Saturday afternoon, sitting in the movie theater watching "Leap Year" (good by the way) eating a kit kat, and yep, my temp crown comes loose. All weekend i make it through without losing it, by eating soup and ice cream. I was so worried it was going to come out at work, then what would I do?! Exactly. This is my front tooth. Monday afternoon, fixed with "better" cement. Good to go, right?! Nope. As it happens, this very evening my lovely temp crown comes loose AGAIN. When is my permanent supposed to come in? Jan 26th. A week and a half away. Is it the weekend? OF COURSE. Is my dentist open tomorrow? NO. So I have the number of a dentist who is, in the hopes that he can fix it tomorrow before I have to spend another weekend praying my tooth doesn't fall out. It might. No joke. Ugh. I hate the dentist. Not as a person, just this whole process has been horrible. Sorry Hilary. I am just really not enjoying myself. Late.

things that sparkle...

2009-12-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

so many happy things have happened. and while i did go through a major holiday roughly alone, there are so many wonderful people in my life who make it better. and i love you all for it. in the last couple of days there have been things that have had a little extra shine to them...and here are a few:
*working the busy holiday weekend with great people who make my life easier...or harder..depends on the day..either way i learn..and am grateful for it
*GOING TO MAUI..ok so this is a future sparkly moment..but the fact that the ticket is purchased and this moment WILL happen is super exciting. i am so jazzed. (and p.s. this maybe should have made the colorado list since the trip was booked while there..but didn't want to detract from them and theirs)
*a super cute boy i work with being nice to me. not that he was mean before..but when he is nice..i sure do like it. :)
*christmas lights..in my house..on other peoples houses..on the big trees in front of the orem city buildings..these make me so happy.
*buying presents. i like giving. i second guess myself most of the time..but i do like buying things for others..even more than i like buying myself things at the gap..if you can imagine that. :)
*two of my guy friends coming to visit me at work. made my night. it was cute. :)
*the best day ever: it goes like this..wake up..chat with mom...go to the library with bobbi and pauli (they stare in the whole day with me) where we found two movies we wanted to see...to be mentioned in greater detail later...i also found 2 of the 3 dean koontz frankenstein books (not book 1) so the hunt begins to find the other..but first to the bank for a quick stop to put the finishing touches on the purchase of the maui trip (my savings acct took only a small hit), then to IN-N-OUT..they just built a new one here in orem and i hadn't been yet..and though we had to crowd surf to get a table..jk..it was SOOO worth the wait and the 5 bucks to get that amazing cheeseburger with grilled onions (yes onions), then to barnes and noble..a glorious place. a haven if you will. to find the dean koontz book (they were out) as well as singin in the rain (which bobbi and pauli have NOT seen..a crime in my opinion) but too pricey for my taste; but we did find one of bobbi's birthday presents..a jacob poster/puzzle. she loves puzzles..and jacob..so perfect!!, then we went to f.y.e. to find singing in the rain and thoroughly modern millie. which we found and purchased as well as a few cds out of the 3 dollar bin. and a mario bros shirt for pauli for christmas. still no book. drat. on to the mall..at this point we are looking for a christmas present for another friend..and hunt around till we find..a purple pair of high heels for me, and a hat and some other presents for pauli(she doesn't know about these ones..i bought them when she wasn't paying attention) but alas..even though we checked everywhere; including the new tai pan trading co, which i love by the way, there was no present for the friend, and no book. not to be disappointed we came home and got in our pjs ( i think it is close to 8 at this point) and watched Big Business with bette midler and lily tomlin..so cute. and funny. then we watched Mrs Winterbourne with brendan fraser, ricki lake, and shirley mclaine, even BETTER. they were the movies we rented from the library, and were so fun. and old school. and it was so nice to just have a night in..since tomorrow i am going to be go, go, go..since i have 4 parties to try to get to. whew. quite a day. we tried to watch millie, but everyone but me was tired. maybe another day.

this ones for you...

2009-12-05T03:02:00.000-08:00

and i mean those of you that live in colorado. so even though I did NOT make it on your blog..you my lovelies and making it on mine. i just want the world to have a brief glimpse into the pure joy that i experienced on my 6 day journey over the rocky mountains. here are some of the highlights: (and these are in NO order)
* new moon with mary-kate and lindsay..and yes tuey i know that i abandon you..but the movie, while tedious at times, was so fun to enjoy with the girls..the candy, the popcorn..the lady that laughed at inappropriate times (why was she laughing??) and mostly..staying up insanely late with two of my favorite girls!
*watching paper moon..even though it took ALL day..cute movie. and i was happy to partake in the experience
*teaching everyone to play NERTS..it is a grand game..and should be played even when i am not there ( which sadly to say, is most of the time)..and lets not talk about that first night (someone got angry..that is all i am going to say....)
*the Holy Family Football game..my sweatshirt, the ride up, the singing the 80s songs loudly in the car, the pride of seeing the boys on the field..and guys, even though you lost..i loved it. :)
*watching a christmas carol in 3d..ok so yes i got motion-sickness..and yes it was a weird movie..it was fun to go with all of you..and so it makes the list
*star trek..for the LOVE..i so did NOT want to watch this movie..but after days..and days..and days..finally seth and i (sorry seth..i gave in) relented and watched it. still i am not a trekkie..but hey. whatev.
*the day of chinese food and french kiss. glorious glorious day. if i remember correctly this is also the day (and the ONLY day) i got to sleep in. thanks..i needed it. :)
*shopping for the jeans. and while it took 20 stores (ok..so exaggeration) i loved it and i am glad that we went..and that you found jeans. i love them. wear them..and FOR THE LOVE...BURN THE BLACK JEANS!! PLEASE..I AM BEGGING YOU! LOL.
*eating at red robin with the boys. they are fun. i can't speak about them. i love them. yes..you too seth.
*can we say RAZZLE DAZZLE?? or sing it..even though seth wouldn't..i love this game..and love that even though sean almost lost his life..we all had fun..and learned to say thank you..except for donnie..who just wouldn't say anything..huh? why is that....
*a rousing game of werewolf..where there were so many happenings..and fun things..my favorite has to be when MK made seth and donnie lovers..and then donnie (in only the way that donnie can) waved at seth from across the room as if they WERE in fact lovers..i almost died. seriously.
*nathan showing me he could swing. and for playing trucks with me.
*quizzing sean on his science...what is a cloud anyway?
*chatting with grandma about books..and finding that my love of reading and perhaps of escaping is indeed hereditary.
*just being. i am sorry if i left anyones favorite moments out..there were some good ones. but i love you all. and even though i DID NOT get the kings of leon cd i have been waiting MONTHS for..i am so glad i was able to visit. love you my almost brothers and sisters and my other mom. and jon. :)

dark&twisty/bright&shiny

2009-11-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

There are days when the things that I witness, or events in the world (think Ft Hood), make me feel a little down. This is what we would call my "dark and twisy" days. I really try to spare all of you the depressing stories from the ER, and so you have been seriously lacking in stories, because frankly I, being the compassionate, emotional person that I am, feel sorry for just about everyone that comes through the doors. (ok, so not someone who, like me, just needs a few stitches to make them whole again) When I see families whose lives have just been shattered, or whose lives will absolutely never ever be the same again, I myself can flashback to a time when I was 12 years old and our lives changed forever, and find myself close to tears. For example, and I will keep this brief, seeing a husband whisper sweet tender words into his wife's ear as we are rapidly wheeling her into surgery to repair her broken body (8 broken bones, both legs in multiple places, both arms) after a horrible car accident, brought me down. I had to fight, really really fight the tears from coming. Or seeing a woman apologize to her husband for being rude to him earlier that day, when he is getting ready to go to surgery because he fell of the roof and broke his neck/back. These things are hard for me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, and love that I can perhaps bring hope or comfort into their lives, but I just need you to know that while I don't regularly post about the experiences in the ER, it is because I need to distance myself from the emotions.

Never fear, there are two sides to this coin, the bright and shiny side, which for me is around the vast majority of the time. There are so many things in my life that make me happy. I would like to list a few here, and this is in no way an inclusive list.
-music that makes me dance
-friends that make me laugh
-playing NERTS (wonderful card game if you didn't know)
-cute guys flirting with me (happens occasionally)
-movies that make me laugh (multiplicity, tommy boy, dodgeball, that thing you do)
-movies that remind me i am a girl (chocolat, the wedding date, chocolat...)
-books. the escape into another world.
-dr pepper (this is a bad habit i know i need to break)
-calls from family that make me cackle (insert "i am too fat for garters")
-text messages
-going to the gap
-knowing i will be in texas as close to christmas as i can get
-planning a party and having new and old friends agree to come (i REALLY do have friends ;0 )
-greys ( i love this show, and it can bring me to tears too)
-watching friends with my roomates (the show)
-good food
-trying to be reverent in sunday school
-the world champions in baseball (i <3 mr. november)
-football
So there it is. There are many many more things in my life that make me happy as well as things that cause me to stop and reflect and perhaps cry a little. Me, I think it makes me more balanced and a better nurse and person.

oh near...

2009-11-05T05:21:00.000-08:00

I ventured to the dentist today. WHY? you ask (and I know you were asking, becuase who willfully goes to the dentist?)..well for a couple of reasons actually, I recently paid attention to the fact that I am paying bi-monthly for dental insurance and not using it, and because my teeth could use a good cleaning. So to the phone book I go to find a dentist near my house. Away I go. I am pretty positive I don't have cavities even before I go, thankfully I have really healthy teeth. My only other concern is the whole whitening process. I have been told by a few other professionals that my teeth shouldn't be whitened because of the stain/trauma/scar thing that is on my left front tooth (insert reason for such a thing: flippy thing gone wrong with kate at age 7). So after xrays and a thorough (and quite painful) cleaning, a very kind and cheerful (maybe TOO cheerful...) dentist informs me that the root on said tooth is calcified, and the way to fix it is a root canal and then a crown. I wanted to cry. Still do actually. I don't want to do it. I know I need to because my tooth is going to get more discolored and eventually hurt me in someway (think abscess here) and then the process will be worse. But really, I just like my teeth and don't want to have a root canal. So in the end all I can really say is... oh near.

happy halloween

2009-11-01T14:09:00.000-08:00

I dressed up 3 times. I was supposed to be a rockstar-type individual. Don't know how well I pulled it off. But for two parties and 12 hours of work, it was a pretty good costume. I fully expect pictures from all of you that have children and don't. But especially kate and ry. So here is pic of me and my roomates at our ward halloween party.

"i can't be pretty anymore"

2009-11-01T13:38:00.000-08:00

A friend from work told me this shortly after she cut off about 12 inches of her hair to donate to locks of love, and she was a little bit distressed about having short hair now. I thought it was funny at the time, until I decided to dye my hair teal. Yes teal. Let's think about that for a second, and now that if I had truly thought about it, I would not have tried it. Yet I did. So to the salon I go, thinking, they are professionals, this should be no problem for them. So we bleach oh about 4 chunks of my hair blonde, and then proceed to put the teal on top of that so it would stay. The ugliest color I have ever seen. Sea foam, mermaid-esque disgusting color. So I tell her just to make the pieces blonde again, thnking that will be fine. And it would have been, had she toned them or made them the same color, or even took the time to make sure they were evenly bleached. She didn't. At first I couldn't really tell how bad it was, but after many days trying to style and wash my hair, there were lots of pieces that were that dirty color blonde..really quite hideous. So new plan, my roomate who wanted to go to hairschool, help me dye the blonde pieces red. So we sectioned them off with foil, and proceeded to dye them, well a bright pinkish orange would be the best way to describe it. So back to the salon I go (of note, a different salon) where I now realize that in fact, I can be pretty again. With blonde and red highlights, I feel so much better about my hair and have possibly learned my lesson. Possibly.

a question??

2009-10-15T12:44:00.001-07:00

So the other day in church we were talking about agency and someone made a comment about choices and how sometimes our agency is taken away from us by others actions..and I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Can our agency be taken away from us? Doesn't that go against the whole purpose of the plan and everything? Maybe I am reading too much into this but if I could get y'alls perspective on it that would be GREAT!!

and its another...

2009-09-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

COUGAR FIRST DOWN!!....I love those words. I mean I love it. Really love. In case you don't know me AT ALL, I love football. I am sitting in my downstairs living room, alone, on a saturday afternoon, and what have I done all day...watch football. So I sadly did not get the BYU game on TV today, so I relied on espn and watched the play by play as the cougars destroyed tulane!!! (go cougs!!), while also keeping close tabs on the Texas-Wyoming game (started out a little shaky for the Horns, but they pulled it out in the end), while watching the ONLY game I got on the TV: Michigan vs Notre Dame, and of course don't REALLY care who wins, but based on the commentators (who I hate) I a rooting for Michigan. This game has no bearing on me whatsoever (do any of them really?) and yet, I can't be turned away. I love it. At this moment I want to be IN ann arbor as the game comes down to the final minutes, as the wolverines try to keep the lead against the irish. I am crazy, and boring you I am sure, but I just needed to share the fact that I LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!

"let not your hearts be troubled"

2009-09-06T16:57:00.000-07:00

So some of you may know that this past week I took care of a lady at work that was raped, and that this experience sent me in to a tailspin of sorts. I was scared, literally scared. I bought a knife. Then because of some sound advice I bought pepper spray. Guess what? the irrational fear was still there. Ok, so I am not saying that being cautious is irrational, but the level of fear that I felt about the possiblity of it happening to me was pretty irrational. The point. The point is that I happened upon an epiphany that the thing I need to keep me from feeling afraid I already had in my possession. The holy ghost. I feel so much more at peace. Not to say that I won't keep the pepper spray handy (face it, I am a single gal and sould be safe) but I am not scared anymore. I feel a peace and calm that can only come from that great Comforter. John 14:27. Happy sunday!!

my adultness

2009-08-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

I have recently moved into a house. Sure with three very awesome roomates (depsite rumblings of discord..things are going well) and I am very excited about it. I absolutely loathed the whole packing and moving business, but once that was done ( and by done I mean that everything is out of my old apartment..not necessarily put away here at the house..but still)I loved putting things up on the walls, organizing our 200 movies (in aphabetically order thanks to a slightly ocd roomate) and most of all..buying a bed and other bedroom furniture to put in my room.... ta da...

I feel very grown-up in this bedroom. Me. The girl who was NEVER going to grow-up..am finally embracing my adultness, and I pretty jazzed about it. Well..at least about my grown-up bedroom that is. I will say that although my bedroom very well could be an add for IKEA, I love it. And am going to try with everything I have to keep any messiness contained to the very large walk-in closet. I did perhaps gain some insight as to why the messiness might linger, and it is this, I am a perfectionist..sure maybe that seems not like me at all..but in school I have to get good grades..not that I want to..I have to. So it goes apparently with my bedroom..I wanted to cry when a friend came in and jumped in the middle of my nicely made bed (apparently channeling my mother here) and messed it up. I painstakingly hung things up so they would be in the middle of the space and had my level so things would be just so. I decided that it is easier to live with mess than to deal with that level of OCD/anxiety/anal/freakiness. That being said, I do like my room, and am going to make a concerted effort to keep it tidy. There..i blogged. With pictures. On with it. :)

"hey..guys..i kinda hurt myself..."

2009-07-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

So...I had my first day of work in the ER as a meet and greet day to get to know people in all of the different departments that we work with, one of them being the EMS/Paramedics/Fireman in the area. So with about 4 hours left in my day I walked to the fire station to meet the guys and I would then be with them until the end of the day, if they went on a call, I would ride along. So we didn't get any calls, but they showed me around, and we hung out and watched some tv and had a good time. We then went out on a call, turned out to be a false alarm, so basically we just drove around the block. Back at the station and trying to get out of the truck (aka ambulance), I slipped going down the stairs and hit my knee against this bolt/door latch thing and it kinda hurt..so I looked down and was going to just rub the pain away when I noticed that there was a hole in my pants..not a good sign. So I pull my pant leg up...and this is what I see....

Yeah sorry for the graphic nature of the image, but I figure you all can handle it. I know it is gross, but it truthfully didn't hurt that bad. I then had to get back IN the ambulance and be hauled to the ER (not that it was an emergency, but having walked to the station, couldn't exactly walk back). SO embarassing. Ended up back in the ER as a patient. Not so fun, but I guess in a way it was an interesting way to jump off my career as an ER nurse. So the Dr was great, and everyone was nice, and soon I was all fixed up. 23stitches and a bit of pain to take with me.

here we are...

2009-06-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

I guess there are updates on my life, although, I am pretty positive, that anyone that reads this already knows everything I have to say, so basically...what's the point? But I am getting tired of the comments on my last post, so here we are.

I have a new job, although I haven't started it yet, you know being a good employee and giving two weeks notice and all. I will start working in the ER on July 14 (I feel a little like Cameron Poe as I say that..) however, I have to orient to all there is to learn and do for 6 weeks, so I will at some point have exciting things to share, but they may be a bit far off. I am super excited though, just so you know. :)

My mom is here and has been here for what 3 weeks (I love that she's here for anyone wondering) it has been difficult at times to try to maintain my social life, and I tried at first, but have since just taken to spending time with mom when I am not working, which doesn't seem to be enough time. We did however have a 5 movie Harry Potter marathon and a 3 movie Underworld marathon...that was fun. :) Went to Salt Lake yesterday, interesting day. We watched the Joseph Smith movie...comments probably don't need to be made in this forum. But I love salt lake, and mom...so it was good! We did really really love the Nauvoo Cafe!

Michael Jackson died, AS WE ALL KNOW!! Just so we are clear, I did love his music and am sad that his life had to come to what it was, and end in the tragic way it did. I played his music for awhile in the car, and made peace with it, and now, as the memorial service is endlessly on TV, I just want them to let him rest in peace. Let it be...let it be. RIP Michael.

Two weeks until I go to colorado for vacation and reunion, am VERY excited to see everyone! And to go to Taylor Swift..lol...but really I am. :) That is really all I have to say right now, I am at work, which is being endured now that there is an end in sight to this madness. Late.

i don't want to talk about it

2009-05-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

So school is going really well..i have taken two tests so far..and gotten A's on both..hooray!! i feel very good about that area of my life right now. Needless to say that is the ONLY area of my life that I feel like I have a handle on. And as the title of this post suggest..I don't really want to delve into all that today. So maybe when I am not in a weird mood, I will once again feel the desire to share more details, but for now, suffice it say that in general things are well, I have a job, a home, a slightly bruised heart/ego, great friends, and new shoes. :) Blog on my friends, and keep me updated about all of your wonderful lives!!

and the school bell rings...

2009-05-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is right, I started back to school this past week..to catch anyone up that is slightly confused by this..I am going to BYU this spring/summer and possibly longer to get some basics so I can finish up my bachelors degree in nursing. I decided to be a little bit adventurous ( and a bit crazy perhaps) and take statistics this semester..so we had our first lecture on wednesday up in salt lake. I took the class in salt lake for a few reasons, one because it is only two days a week (which means only having to take two days off of work), and because to be honest..everyone says it is easier up there..and any help i can get i am going to take, because I have not been in a math class since fall 2002 and that one did not turn out so well. I am however going to take it one day at a time, and I have some great friends and family who have been encouraging me and I know I am going to be great at stats..maybe ;)

a side note: the swine flu scare has kept me home from work the past two days..as I have been sick and my work does not want me there with suspcious 'flu-like symptoms'. to be clear, I am fine, just feeling a little under the weather. AND..I do not think the swine flu is quite the crisis it was made out to be.

..will work for food

2009-04-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

ok so i don't really need food..i need an extra like 700 dollars so i can fly to hawaii because Ashley, who has been my best friend since i was six years old is getting married in july!! dang it. there is no way i can swing that..not since i am fixin to start back to school. maybe if i got another job, but i won't have time for that now that school is starting in like 3 weeks or so. ugh. why does it have to cost so so much?! oh so frustrating. so if you know of a way to get cheap flights, please let me know!!

lookin up

2009-04-03T03:44:00.000-07:00

Things are looking good, I feel. I got back into BYU, with only a few hoops to jump through and am now avidly looking at what particular classes I need to take in order to get into a program to give me my bachelors degree. I am looking at different online programs and right now the front runners are university of utah and texas tech. So now it is just a matter of which place will accept me and how many classes they will require me to have before doing so (obviously the one with fewer required is the winner). I continue to keep my eyes and ears open for different possibilities for a new job. Also, I get to go to conference tomorrow and sunday and am very excited, though a little saddened that no one from the family was able to come. I am missing home right now, though not for any particular reason, just a general longing for the kiddos and the comfort of home. Going to get back to work now..though sleeping would be a lot better at this point in time!! :)

...this ain't a fariy tale

2009-03-28T18:25:00.001-07:00

I stood there as the guy I like held me in his arms and told me I wasn't the one for him. After weeks of knowing he liked me..and him knowing I liked him, but trying to keep my emotions in check because I KNEW he had a history with another girl. I tried to hold on to the times when he was with me and how great he made me feel about myself, and ignore the fact that while he said he wanted to move on..he clearly did not. My mind was unable to control my heart. I really really liked him. He actually listened to what I had to say about every aspect of my life, and showed a genuine interest in who I am. It hurts because that has never happened before. It hurts because he didn't mean to hurt me. It hurts because I really do want him to be happy..even if it is not with me. I am stronger because of this hurt. He helped me realize how to be mature and controlled about my feelings, and how to have confidence in my instincts, and in myself. He encouraged me to do things that are scary, and I no longer feel scared. So despite the fact that it hurts, and that it will continue to hurt, I thank him for being who he is. There is no regret or remorse here..and I am moving on with a smile on my face (albeit..a shaky smile..but a smile nonetheless). And even though I agree with miss swift in that ..this ain't a fairy tale..I still believe that there will be a happy ending for me. :)

it's never too late

2009-03-24T11:51:00.001-07:00

to become the person you might have been" george elliot. that is one of my new phrases to live by. everyday i come one step closer to becoming the very best version of myself. i have started (about 2 1/2 weeks ago) the nutrisystem diet plan..which i am hoping will help jumpstart some diet changes in me, and help me lose weight and get in shape. so far it is going well. i have been going back to the gym way more frequently and i feel alot better. it has been a little harder to go to the gym the last week or so because i had a slight incident where i was on the back of a friends motorcycle and we kinda wrecked (he layed it down on its side..not too bad because we were in the parking lot going pretty slow) but i got a pretty good road rash on my foot and it really hurts to wear shoes. but i will of course press onward and upward. oh and it was my birthday!! thanks for everything everyone..those who went with me to get ice cream..or took me out for japanese food..or got me my beloved harry potter books!! i love you all alot! i got back into byu so i can start taking some basics to get into a bachelors program (and then hopefully on to nurse practioner or physicians assistant school). nothing too exciting on the guy front..but there is always potential out there and i am keeping my eyes open!! i am super excited that jason and katie will be coming to visit for conference..it will be so good to see some family and hang out with them..plus i love conference and i am so excited to have tickets!! i would implore all of you out there to blog as well!! C'MON PEOPLE!!

my color coded personality

2009-02-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

14% Red, 51% Blue, 14% White and 20% Yellow!

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.

BLUE MOTIVE: Intimacy

BLUE NEEDS: To be good (morally), To be understood, To be appreciated, Acceptance.

BLUE WANTS: To reveal insecurities, Quality, Autonomy, Secuirity.

SUMMARY: Blues are motivated by altruism. They love to do nice things for others. they look for opportunites to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Blues seek intimacy. They want to be loved and to love. A true blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Blues crave being understood. They are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. Blues may have thier hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love. Blues are directed by a strong moral conscience. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, and their leisure time. A blue would rather lose than cheat. Ethically, blues are people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.

\http://www.helloquizzy.com/"> style="color:#131313">HelloQuizzy\

patience is a virtue

2009-02-15T23:42:00.000-08:00

Ok..so I have been patient with my boss for about 3-4 months now...waiting for him to let me work days..and FINALLY! I get to work days about 2/3 of the time (not complaining..I will take what I can get). The way my schedule works is that I am prescheduled 4 days a month (these will stay nights for now) and then I schedule myself for the rest (these will be days)! I am really excited and last week was the first time in 5 1/2 months that I was able to work a day shift, and while it was hectic and stressful it was SO much better than my worse night shift. The pace is so much faster and it is easier for me to stay focused. I am really happy that my patience paid off, not that I wasn't super frustrated or didn't look for another job or anything. ;) Also, I chatted wtih my boss about going back to school, and the hospital offers tuition reimbursement, so I believe that I am going to stay here and take advantage of the low tuition costs at BYU (for the rest of my basics) and the reimubursement program. Now if the patience I so brillantly displayed in this instance would appear for all the other aspects of my life (more specifically BOYS) than things will be just peachy! :) I enourage those of you out there who do not do so, to please blog..or call me!!

the love of a good book

2009-02-05T02:34:00.000-08:00

I am an avid reader for those of you who don't know me AT ALL! (jk) I recently became addicting to reading books by the author Phillipa Gregory, I at first became entranced because of a movie called 'The Other Boleyn Girl' and found at the in fact, it was a book by aforementioned author. I sought it out at the Provo City Library, they in fact did not have, so I was forced, forced I tell you to get another book entitled 'The Virgin's Lover' which much to my delight is about Queen Elizabeth I (I am a bit of a fan of hers), and it was fabulous. I love the way Ms. Gregory combines history with such romance and suspense. Her writing is wonderful and puts you right there, you feel as if you are back in old England and mixed up in the tumult of the battle for reform from the catholic church. So thrilling it is to read such a book. I have since read 'The Boleyn Inheritance' and just this evening (or perhaps more accurately described as the wee hours of the morning) finished reading 'A Respectable Trade.' Both books were fantastic! The Boleyn Inheritance focuses on the lives of Anne of Cleves, Katherine Howard and Jane Boleyn and the downfall and madness of King Henry. A Respectable Trade is a book about the early days of slave trading in England. The reason for my post was not to become a spokesperson for Phillipa Gregory (though it may seem like it) but instead to talk about the bittersweet feeling I felt about an hour before I finished it. I had to get up to take care of my patient (I know most people think I do nothing at work, but truly I do give my SLEEPING patients the care they need) and sat down to pull out my bookmark only to note that I was almost finished. Here I am, enthralled in the story, not wanting to put it down...you know the feeling...when nothing else matters BUT finishing the book..when you will abandon all else in your life (sleep most notably, but food, family, friends, etc.) just to find out what is going to happen..and then it hits me. It's going to be over. Over. I was so disappointed (not in the story) but just knowing that I was not going to be able to be companion of these characters along their journey. Now mind you, I desperately wanted to finish the book, just not yet. I however, could not help myself, and sit here now...reflecting on this bittersweet feeling...thinking maybe I should have saved some of the story for later. Not so, as I will now have to journey back to the library to find another book to take me on an adventure. *sigh* Or I could just blog some more? Nah... Just wanted to share my thoughts. Have to get back to the grind...

give thanks for the farmers

2009-02-03T20:52:00.001-08:00

So I recently discovered the Sunflowers Farmers Market..and am in love with it! I don't buy all my groceries there, as I am not really all that into eating strictly organic..but there produce and meat are fabulously priced and I am so excited. I took an online quiz to see what kind of eater I am..to then determine how I needed to change my diet (note: i did NOT say go on a diet..just to change it..make it better as it were), and was told that I do not eat enough fruity things. After a late evening journey to the farmers market with some friends I proceeded to buy blueberries, blackberries (I ate the whole container in one sitting) and oranges along with some local chocolate milk all for the staggering price of five dollars. I went again today and was so pleased with the selection and price once again. I was able to purchase oranges, apples, strawberries, and grapes all for about 8 dollars. Plus, I could get any kind of cheese I wanted and a wonderful selection of veggies (the veggies are the next step, one thing at a time people!!). I am sure this post was just thrilling for you..but I needed to let you all know how grateful I am for the farmers of the world! Take care and if possible..buy local!

2009-02-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

driving around with you...

2009-01-31T19:48:00.001-08:00

As a disclaimer, I did NOT get in a wreck..but I would like to take you through the scenario I was placed in on my way to work this evening. Here I am, driving (dootie dootie doo) along, and I make a left turn onto a somewhat busy street (state street for those in the area) and am driving past the DI when someone in the lane to my right begins to merge into my lane (apparently blissfully unaware that I am currently occupying that spot), I proceed to SLAM on my brakes (thank heavens no one was behind me)..sending my purse and work bag (and contents) violently spilling onto the car floor. I continue to drive, at this point I realize that the person who so rudely cut me off STILL does not know the trouble they have caused me. This causes rage and other frightening feelings to cause me to want to RAM my car into the back of them. (counter-productive I know, since I just so narrowly avoided an accident). I mean road rage does not even touch the amount of anger I felt. Probably not that big of a deal, but living in the glorious state of Utah has brought me to this point. People here DO NOT pay attention. I guess they are relying on the good Lord to keep them out of harms way!! (Lightning is going to strike I am sure..but just talking about is getting me all riled up again!!) And this incident does not just happen to me, it happened to my RS president just yesterday (probably the same inattentive, unaware driver!) So the next time you are driving (whether you are in Utah or not) please oh please pay attention to what you are doing!! Late.

"another winter day has come and gone away..."

2009-01-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

"and even paris and rome, and i want to go HOME." Ok, so I already did, but I love that song by michael buble..so there you go. My journey began on Dec 26th..and what a cold day it was. I had been up all not (ended up not having to work..but after sleeping all day..didn't sleep all night) I was very anxious that my flight would be delayed and I wouldn't get home..but no, it was fine. And other than having to spend an insane amount of time in the airport (free ride up there..so not complaining) the trip was ok. I do hate flying though..it is just not fun..at all. Arrive in OKC to my mom and dad..that was great! I made them stop at Mickey D's on the way home..but the ride home was fun..and it was oh so good to be able to breathe that Texas air!! I saw some old friends over the weekend..and my siblings and nieces and nephews..and it was great!!

On Monday me, Mom, and Katie went to the falls to do some serious grocery shopping in preparation for the Jon Willdens' arrival. It was nice to spend the day with the girls..and eat at Taco Bell (or the parking lot, whatever). We had to buy so much stuff, but it was ok, and I was super excited for them to come to Texas. Mom and I kinda stayed up for their middle of the night arrival (both of us fell asleep at some point). Plus I like getting beds and what-not ready for people and making them feel comfortable. The week went by faster than I would have liked, but it was so much fun. We ate some great food (especially those desserts..thanks Kate), and played outside with peppy (the ATV thing my dad bought..yeah it has a name). We stayed up late every night playing games like musical catch phrase where you are required to sing a song to get everyone to guess the title (well everyone but Ryann has to sing, right Ry?!), and Werewolf..which is just about my favorite thing in the world to play. I was so excited to be around my extended family for a whole week..it was marvelous! Also..on a very lovely side-note, we went to my favorite restaraunt Samurai of Tokyo with cousins Mary-Kate and Lindsay, auntie Joan, Katie and Effie and Ava..and Mom..and it was so nice to share something I absolutely love with all of them..happy to report everyone else loved it as well (duh!). We also played razzle-dazzle..a card game I love! Apart from being sick for the whole week, I had the absolute BEST time..and was sad to see the Jon Willdens' to leave! Good thing I will see them sometime this spring (right??), and then again for the family reunion!

The next week I was able to spend time with each of my siblings (and their children if applicable) seperately and that was so nice. To backtrack a little, mom dad and I went to plainview to hang out with my brother Jordan (aka Chick) and check out his new job..which is really fun for him..and take him his son Ryder whom we were babysitting!! It was nice to just relax, catch up with friends and family and have a vacation! Mom and I went to the falls to go out to a movie (and went out to eat with Jared & Jessica and the Schroeder clan) and saw Bride Wars..which Mom didn't REALLY want to see at first..but we both really enjoyed it..it was funny and clean..and super cute!! Then we went out to eat dinner at Samurai (yes again..7 mos is a long time to go without my favorite food) and then headed home. It was nice. I liked having time to be at home with Mom and watch movies..just like old times. The time once again went by too fast, and soon it was Sunday and I had to talk in church and give the lesson in RS (I know, right? I don't even go there anymore!!;) ) Had to head to the airport on Monday but not before went to eat with Jared and Jessica (they are sooo fun!) and drive the 3 1/2 hours to OKC..and end up in Provo 7-8 hours after that!! (The trip home was interesting, perhaps another blog at another time)

It was so nice to be home..and now nice to be back and see my friends (and if I haven't seen you yet..it is most likely due to the fact that one I was exhausted and two..I have had to work the past three nights!!) Happy New Year Everyone!! I love you all!!

Ready Already

2008-12-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

So..I am so so so ready to go home. I think that a week is the longest period of time known to man. I am also very stressed to consider that the weather may prevent me from getting there (let's all pray that doesn't happen..as bad things will then occur). I am excited at getting to see all the children..and meeting Ryder! I would also like to add, that just the idea that the Jon Willdens might make an appearance is just fabulous!! I am ready to relax for 17 days!! I think that christmas truly is on the 26th for me!! Just thought I would try and share my excitement!! Love you all!!

something random

2008-12-06T17:41:00.000-08:00

So here are some pictures my friend bobbi, and vicki have taken of me. Thought you could use an update..especially since i just dyed my hair!! Its hot..huh?!

Late night at IHOP

At a soccer game with bobbi

At the midnight showing of Twilight. That's bobbi, and vicki.

turkey day

2008-11-30T01:51:00.000-08:00

So..I only had 3 days off for thanksgiving..more than some people, I know..but not enough time to go anywhere..as I worked Tuesday night, and am currently at work (sat night)..so my very good friend Julie invited me to go with her to Ogden to spend the time with her older sister's family. They were so welcoming, and I had a great time. We played games, watched movies, ate TONS, and generally just had a good time. There was really only one point in all of that where I was sad beyond reason, and that was when they busted out the Christmas decorations. It just bugged me that I wasn't going to be there to help mom decorate and just the general before Christmas splendor, the music..all of it. *sigh* But onward and upward, right.

Well anyway, we had big plans for black friday, and the night before made a list of things we wanted..my list was short..but ended up alot bigger than planned..hmm...maybe there is a problem there. Julie's sister was really funny about it all, she really wanted these pots/pans and knife set, and was determined that we were going to get them...she even joked (well..maybe it was a joke) that we practice running drills the night before so we would be ready. So off to bed with us at oh..11:30..with the plan to get up at 2:45 to be at Kohl's in line before 3:30..(opened at 4)..and we get there..and yes, it's raining..and the line is not so bad..until about 3:40..and the line is wrapped almost all the way around the parking lot..insanity. Finally the doors open..and I run (yes..full on run) to the kid's section to look for some pj's for my nephews..had to scrap the idea because all I could find were girls..so I just went to stand in line..so we could be out of there FAST. We made it out by about 4:10, and then down the road to wal-mart...I know..but they were having a ridiculous sale on KitchenAid stand mixers and pre-lit Christmas trees. So we get there and Ihead straight for the mixers..there are 9. Total. That's it. And how many people are waiting to pounce..at least 11. So I stand there for about 10 min (Julie staked out the trees..no worries there) and then decide that while I REALLY want the mixer, technically I can afford to pay full price, and on principal I can't really see myself taking one from someone who was rightfully there before me. So I give up and go round up lights and other various items to decorate with. On to Old Navy, where I was able to find fleece outfits for my nephews (of which there are 5..and yeah..I didn't remember that when I was there..so I ended up having to go back later that night..whatever). Then to Michael's where the lighted garland/wreath set was a shocking $10. Then..and finally..time to go home and go to bed. It was like 6:30-45. Exhausting..but not in all reality that bad..as Julie's older sister and husband went back to Kohl's and got me a KitchenAid (on sale..just not AS on sale as the wal-mart one) and other various things and spent 2 hours in line. 2 hours I spent blissfully sleeping. To be honest Friday seemed like two different days..the black friday early morning ridiculousness..and then the one later..where I watched the third Harry Potter movie (yeah, I finished the book, and no..didn't really like the movie) and went back out to brave the crowds..to watch Australia (which I highly recommend..very moving..and Hugh Jackman is beautiful). Overall it was a really fun, but exhausting day. Basically I didn't do anything else with my time there, but sleep. I was really grateful for Julie's family welcoming me and making the holiday a very good one. Hope everyone's days were wonderful and full of family, friends, and of course food.

the five..again..

2008-11-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

So I kinda already did this..but for Jennie's benefit..I will do it again. Also..I am at work and have nothing else to do.

Places I've lived:
1. Provo, UT
2. Pinion Hills, CA
3. Longmont, CO
4. Fruitland, ID
5. Seymour, TX

Favorite Snacks: (if I can narrow it down)
1. Ice cream (i love, love, love it)
2. Chocolate
3. A combo of something sweet and something salty (like cheez-its and m&ms)
4. truffles (is that the correct spelling..also..i know these are mostly chocolate..so could technically be inculded in that one..but i love them so much..i had to list them seperately)
5. No bake cookies

Job's I've had:
1. Target team member
2. RN-in Provo
3. LVN-in seymour (best job so far)
4. I don't know what my title was but when I was a senior and for the summer after I worked with my dad doing construction work..he installed security systems in prisons..so whatever.
5. Allsups convience store clerk

Thing's I'd do with $1Million
1. Pay off "the company's" debt
2. Pay off my own loans
3. Travel
4. Land/real estate
5. Ensure we as a family had everything we needed for food storage/emergency preparedness

Things I love:
1. Family (and to me this includes my immediate and extended family and my very best friends)
2. Reading (and yes I am reading Harry Potter, am on book 3, but haven't started it yet. I just love books!!)
3. Being near the ocean or other body of water
4. Playing games (card games, sports, basically anything remotely competitive)
5. Church

People I am tagging:
1. Keri
2. Annie
3. Auntie..and the rest of the family
4. Ryann
5. Sheitman

i am

2008-11-18T10:35:00.000-08:00

So..I went ahead and took the plunge and started reading Harry Potter..much to the delight of everyone it seems. I am in the first book..so don't tell me anything about what happens..I am trying to get through it..and have found that indeed the books are better than the movies..at least as far as I can tell.

I went on a date with a friend on Friday night to a murder mystery thing..and it was fun..there were a lot of people there..and the murder was solved in a really ridiculous way..and since I am not completely ridiculous my group did not guess it right..so did not win, which is fine really...because the prize was sparkling cider. Then we played games..and then I went home to watch 27 dresses with my new pseudo-roomates. They are really my next door neighbors..Jamie, Bobbi, Vicki, and Tacie..but they have adopted me and I stay at their house most days (and nights sometimes) which seems to be making life easier. I love these girls. We have so much fun together!!

Vicki, Jamie, Bobbi and I went on a girls-ask-guys group date on Saturday. It seriously was so much fun. My date turned out to be a guy I am pretty fond of..but was my original intended date..as the guy I asked first got sick and couldn't go. But my date was so fun..and he is one of the most amazing guys I know! We started by going to pick them up (which just required walking to the other side of the complex), and going on photo scavenger hunt in groups of four..(me and my date, Jamie and hers)..which was SOO fun!! We had to take pictures of all these random things, and search for various items in the area..and just in case you were wondering..they no longer have phone booths in Provo..I know..we looked everywhere! After the photo scavenger...and some general banter with the other group over who really won (when really, in truth, both teams cheated slightly), we had dessert and played a card game called Nerts..which is very fun..and we all seemed to be evenly matched..so it made the competition good. Then we broke out the popcorn and love sacs (which are super large bean bags) and watched Transformers (bad idea I might mention)..I fell asleep during the movie..but it was fun anyway. Then we walked the guys home (proper dates after all), and then us girls ate more food, and watched part of wedding planner..as we were all very very tired and wanted some sleep!!

So that was are awesome date night, and now all I can hope for is the prospect of a second date, but either way it was really fun!! My dad is doing better getting around on his broken ankle, and I am very grateful to my brother Jake for being with him right now! Might I encourage the rest of you to blog..that would be great...thanks! Also..enjoy the christmas music!!

what am i thinking?

2008-11-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

I still am looking for a new job, though nothing has come of the search yet. But I go to work and do my job, and go on about my business. Dad broke his ankle the other day, I think yesterday, but my days all kind of run together, and I am going to be really honest, it bothered me once again that I could do NOTHING to help him. I mean I prayed for him, and trust that the Lord will look out for him, but I want to make sure that the doctors treated him right and that we are doing everything we can to prevent complications. I can't be in two places at once, however.

I have a confession, I watched a Harry Potter movie. I am sure this delights both Ryann and my dearest auntie and her children. I am really unhappy that I did watch it, and here is the reason...I now want to know what happens. I mean seriously. That is a dirty trick. I told my friend today, that I was even tempted to READ the books. I mean, I have been anti-Harry for many years, and was happy with that. Completely happy. Not to say that I will read them, because I most likely will NOT..as I have always said that I wasn't going to. So I may just watch the movies..or coerce a friend/family member to tell me what happens. Also..Jason Isaacs..who plays lucius malfoy or something like that..is kind of attractive. That's all..no more harry potter talk.

I am going on a date on saturday. I am kind of excited..ok just plain excited about it. This guy is a super fun nice guy in my ward. I asked him, which is not what I prefer, but a group of girls in my ward are doing this girls choice date night..so I joined in. And who knows, maybe he will then ask me on a date...

I am going to dye my hair soon..and by soon I mean within a weeks time..the grey hairs are once again emerging and I can't have that. So any suggestions on hair color would be much appreciated. And in case you don't know..I kind of like to go drastic. Let me know.

changes

2008-11-04T21:46:00.000-08:00

So..I am NOT happy with the outcome of the general presidential election of this country, but I will say that for me, this just reinforces what I know about the state of the world. We are headed down a slippery-slope towards the END..and I am happy to report that my faith in the Lord and the prophet are stronger than ever. I feel for the people who look to Obama as a Savior instead of looking where they should, toward the Lord, but I voted, and it is over now..and we have to pick ourselves us, trust in the Lord, and do the things we know we are supposed to.

Moving on to exciting news, my brother Jordan and his wife Kayla welcomed a baby boy Ryder Edward Willden into the world on Nov 3rd. I am very excited that mom and baby are doing well. Hard to believe that my baby brother has a baby, but I am still very happy for all.

To take note, I am currently looking for another job, and perhaps a move to a different locale. I am not necessarily unhappy in Provo, but I am unhappy with my job and the direction in which my career is headed. I have since found out that I cannot get the degree I want from BYU, which was the whole point, so if I have to get it somewhere else, it just makes sense to move. No I don't know where yet, though moving to Salt Lake is an option I am considering. Also moving back to the great state of Texas is an option, but one I think I only consider because of the proximity to my family. This won't happen very soon, as I have made certain commitments to my job and my apartment complex, but just knowing that I have the support of my Dad in this, makes the prospect of staying for a little while longer a whole lot easier.

I also just need to say how grateful I am for worthy and wonderful Priesthood holders. It is a great feeling knowing that I have guy friends who I can turn to who will help me if I need it. It is a great feeling, and I have a deep respect for my current home teacher and his roomates who have been so amazing in recent weeks.

happy halloween

2008-10-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

So..for the first time this week I am working..and thus unable to participate in any festivities for this holiday. Truthfully this does not bother me, as my only joy would come from seeing my beautiful nieces and nephews in their costumes, and as I am many miles away, I am not that upset. I mean, I fully expect pictures from katie, ryann, and my dear auntie. I would love to have been there to help with trick-or-treating as I have done in the past, but alas, it was not to be this year. So I hope everyone enjoyed their day/night and had lots of good, clean, safe fun. Later.

get on with it

2008-10-27T13:42:00.001-07:00

So I have given up trying to load pictures on this thing..maybe someday. The media fast really only lasted for a week for me..I know..I could have done it, but I really got distracted at work..and then it was over. Moving on. Things are pretty much the same for me. Although, I am fairly certain that since the last time I blogged, I am no longer a trainee at the hospital..they have cut me loose on my own. My first shift on my own was pretty rough, but since then things have gone well. I still hate working nights, and I really don't think that is going to change anytime soon. However, I do get alot of reading done, and now that most of the TV shows are shown online, I don't miss anything there either, so Kate, if you REALLY want to catch up on the office, that is the way to do it. My roomates moved out, one a few weeks ago, or a month, who knows..and the other one today. I really don't think that will change anything because I have essentially been alone since I moved in. I have some good friends in the ward that allow me to crash there when I am feeling lonely, and this way no one bugs me when I am trying to sleep. I went on a date, ok, catch your breath...I went out to eat and to the play Sweeny Todd with a friend of mine. I say friend, because that is really what he is. The play was awesome though, I had no idea. It was really fun.

Working nights sometimes makes me feel really disconnected from the world. Or maybe I just feel that way because I was sick all last week, and didn't do anything but lay on the couch. I am very excited for Christmas..and now thanksgiving..turns out that I have to work the weekend after, so I can't go to colorado..so my friend is taking me to Ogden with her. Her sister lives there, and that should be really fun. But really I just want it to be after thanksgiving so I can decorate for christmas. I have to be here..all alone on christmas..and will be back in texas the night of the 26th, but I don't know that that will make it any easier. So I decided to carry on the family tradition of insane christmas decorating, and am really excited! Anyway, those are the ramblings and happenings right now. Also, I am very upset that the cougs lost to tcu..and only slightly redeemed themselves with a barely won game against unlv, I really don't like it.

quickly..as i am already behind

2008-10-05T23:08:00.000-07:00

So just a quick note to those of you who choose to read this, first I am going on a media fast with my stake..so I will not be able to blog for two weeks..or however long I hold on. We are turning off our TVs, radios, Ipods (or various music players) and engaging in getting back to the things that matter..scripture reading, being outside, or like my bishopric liked to call it "pairing activities." So I will be unable to follow any of your wonderful lives, unless you call or text me. Just as a side note, hopefully during this time I will get the whole picture thing figured out, and post pictures when I return, so that you may see what is going on with me.

Briefly, as there are pictures that need to go with this post, I went to General Conference today in salt lake, and it was AMAZING and spiritual, and wonderful. Thanks to Pres Adair and Jason for getting me the tickets, I loved it. Love to all of you. Call me. =)

the world lost something great

2008-09-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

Paul Newman has passed on. This is very saddening to all in the world, like me, who loved him. Besides being essentially the most beautiful man to ever be, he was a great actor..and from all accounts a good man. My heart is a little bit broken. As Jake told me, however, 83 years is a full life, so lets not get too dramatic. Anyhow..just wanted to memorialize Paul a little bit. If any of you don't know what I am speaking of, rent Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and then you will understand.

life as i know it

2008-09-25T21:35:00.000-07:00

Things are so crazy busy right now..it seems as though I never have a moments peace. Whether it be because I rearranged things to go the gym at least 3 times a week..or being called to the Relief Society presidency..or just life in general I am not sure. I hosted dessert night at my apartment last night..and worked Tuesday night..so here is a brief rundown of my day wednesday..I got up at 12 (which is kind of early for me..as I went to bed at 7) and then had lunch with my dad..which made me so so happy. Then I went to wal-mart to get stuff to make cookies..and finish making my apartment look presentable. Then I got home and was making cookies and Keri and Johnny the stud came to keep me company, which also made me very happy. ..I then went to the gym with Annie which is going really well I think..but I was really stressed. When I got home..I still had a batch of cookies to make..had to finish cleaning..and take a shower..and only about an hour and a half before everyone was coming. Oh geeze. But I got everything done, and I think my apartment looked really cute..kind of decorated for fall..and there were about half the relief society girls that showed up. I think it went really well. My ward was having movie night outside after that..so of course I went with friends and curled up on the ground with a bunch of blankets and watched disturbia..it was a pretty crazy day..but overall I enjoyed it. But things are not going to stop being busy for a while I think..it seems as though I am either working, or having something to do for church, or going to the gym. But such is the life I suppose..I feel like my life will eventually slow down..but who knows..maybe this is the way things are going to stay. Also..exciting news..I bought my plane ticket to come home after the holidays (well after christmas anyway...as a first year nurse..I HAVE to work)..so I will be in Texas from Dec 26th till Jan 12th..very happy about that. Thanksgiving is still up in the air..I know I have it off..but don't know if I will have the time or money to go anywhere..we shall see. Have to get back to it.

ready..set..go

2008-09-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

Ok..so I did not enter a race or anything..just really couldn't think of anything else that conveyed the excitiment..and trepidation I feel about the new journey I have embarked on. I joined a gym. Take a minute..catch your breath. I know..it is not necessarily the first time this has occured..just the first time I have this kind of resolve. There is a force driving me that I have never had before. Not to say that I don't still feel like there is a chance I will fail. But now I have a secret weapon..her name is Annie..I cannot express how grateful I am that at this time in my life I am here..so she can be by my side. See, for those of you who do not know..Annie is not only a great friend..she is a trained personal trainer. And she is helping me. She swears I am doing her a favor by allowing her to use her talents/training/education..but really and truly..she is helping me make a change in my life that I never had the courage for before (substitute courage for any number of words..motivation, determination, willpower..any of these also work). I have now gone to the gym for two consecutive days..and while getting up and going to work was slightly more difficult than it was before..I feel better mentally about myself. I have way more realistic goals than I have ever had previously, and I know that even though Annie will not be with me everytime I go to the gym (just for two wonderful weeks..the most important two weeks..in my opinion)..I have her to support me. I also have the encouragement from all my family, my mom, my beloved aunt..my sisters, my dad. This is such a big step for me..so if you see me in the near future..give me a little push in that direction..because there is still a part of me that is scared that it isn't going to happen, that I am going to give up for some, as of yet, unseen reason.

rise and shout

2008-09-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

..the cougars are out..on the trail to fame and glory!! That is one line from the wonderful BYU cougar fight song that I had a chance to sing a record (for me anyway) 9 times at saturday's game (8 td, one fg). But I am jumping ahead here..there was more to it than just going to the game (isn't there always with me?) So I had to work Friday night, which was fine, didn't have to do much, but I was very tired when I woke up on Saturday at 12:30..with only an hour to get ready for the game..which shouldn't have been a big deal..except...the tickets that I have I kind of purchased underhandedly..(i know..shocking)..I had a friend of mine who is still a student buy an all-sports pass (really i bought it under her name and student ID)..and then she just emails me everything she gets from them. Also as a side-note we were told that with the student tickets this year you would have to show a student ID (which I thought was highly unlikely as there are thousands of people going to the games..and this would take and inordinate amount of time)..so I had a different friend who is graduated loan me her ID (we look nothing alike) because I could not find my old one. Anyhow..back to Saturday..I open the email the tickets are supposed to be in and it says that they were to come as and attachment..and there is no attachment..call the girl who emailed me..tell her they are not there..could she check to make sure she doesn't have another email with an attachment..no such luck. There were almost tears. And to top it off..even if I could get the email with attachment..the printer I recently purchased is not installed..and it is already 1pm. So I call the ticket office to find out which email address they are sending the tickets too..and call the girl back and we locate the tickets. Meanwhile I am stupidly trying to get my printer installed in a hurry so I can print them off..because in my mind I think that if I have to go to the office to do it..it will take forever (and this installation is not taking anytime at all?!!!) So it is now 1:30..kickoff. I am at home..email in hand (so to speak) making my way to the office to get it printed out. I live close enough to the stadium that I can hear the goings on. Without me. I finally get the ticket printed and begin the 10-15 min walk it is going to take to get to the stadium. I get there..finally..I have missed the first touchdown..and have to sit by myself..I don't mind..and by the way..they did not check the ID at the gate. As I look out on the field with the giant Y in the center..my breath catches..I am so excited to be back here. So excited. It was a little warm out..and because of the sun I got sunburned on half my face and one of my arms..but it was all worth it to see the cougs rout the bruins of ucla 59-0. Wonderful. Stayed for every second. Glorious day.

have to post this

2008-09-13T01:54:00.000-07:00

This is my family. Not ALL of them..but all that were at the family reunion previously mentioned. It was cold and rainy..but here we are!!

..we are family..

2008-09-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

Labor day weekend brought about the 3rd annual Willden family reunion (2nd for me, but that is not the point). We congregated at the Flaming Gorge KOA campsite in Manila, UT. I was very excited to be there, and was even more excited that it only took me 3 1/2 hours to get there..and would have possibly taken less time if I had not had to make 2 unexpected stops at the wal-mart for shoes of all things. I was able to see my parents, brother/sister-in law, sister/brother-in-law, and their beautiful children, grandparents, and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was so good to see everyone, it revived my spirits a great deal. Most of it was just hanging out by the campfire, eating, and just talking about things, but that was almost my favorite part. Just to reconnect with family members who I haven't seen in anywhere from 2-8 years was fantastic. My real favorites though were the family kickball game, where I was on the winning team and did in fact contribute to the win by catching a ball my brother kicked (it is quite an accomplishment, as I don't think I have ever bested him in anything). Then the campsite was having karaoke, which you are all aware that I already love..and I convinced my sister and cousin to sing with me, we did a spectacular rendition of Carly Simon's 'You're so vain.' It was pretty awesome! The women in the family then sang 'love shack' during which my mother did some wonderful dance moves and goosed everyone one of us!! It was so much fun, just to be able to make a fool of ourselves and not be ashamed about it. It rained that night, which caused problems for those sleeping in tents (not me) but we made it through. Saying goodbye was not the easiest thing ever, but with promises from everyone to stay in touch and see one another the next year made it slightly easier. People and circumstances of our lives change, but it doesn't change the fact that we are family and are bonded by love.

fun times..fun friends

2008-08-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to add this picture to my blog..this is me with some of my friends! Cassie and Annie were roomates on my floor freshman year, and we had some great times together! Cassie and I are wearing a boa we found in Annie's desk (this is Annie's office), which Annie says is from her birthday..there is speculation about that!! j/k. Anyway, just wanted to add a fun pic!! Love you girls!!!

i'm not sure about this

2008-08-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

I don't like working nights. Now I know what you are going to say, that who does..but in all honesty..there are people who prefer it, for whatever reason. I am not one of those people. I dread it. Once I am there, things go ok, but by the end of the night, in the early hours of the morning, I am fighting fatigue so much that I wonder how sharp my skills are. I get things done, mind you, and my patients aren't in danger, but I am so tired. All the time. I am tired even as I write this. My eating schedule is so out of whack, it is kind of distressing. And lets not even think about the fact that I basically don't have a social life anymore! Good thing I am going to get a break and go to my family reunion on Friday...and that's another thing..I have to say the day fo the week, because I can't ever rememer what day it actually is. I mean, I go to work and it is tuesday..and when I come home..wednesday..this shouldn't be confusing, right?!..well it just boggles my mind that when I go to bed and wake up some 7 or 8 hours later..it is still the same day it was when I went to sleep. Also I may be getting new roomate (s)..not sure if there will be one of more...only time will tell. To all of you whom I will see in a few days..I am sure happy about that!! Take care all.

...it's just like riding a bicycle

2008-08-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

..while that may be true, what happens when you seem to have forgotten how to ride a bicycle?? Now I don't mean to say that I have lost the ability to pedal the bike into motion, I simply mean that I have forgotten how to make it not seem like torture. I rode my bike to work last night. Wow. Really not so fun. It was hot outside, and I am terribly out of shape, and I am not sure that my tires were aired up to proper functioning capacity, but still. It was just about the most miserable exercising experience I have had in a while. That was until I got back on my bike this morning after a very long 12 hour shift, and proceeded to attempt to pedal my way the mile and a half or so home. What setting is better? A higher gear that is harder to pedal, or a lower one where you have to pedal many more times a minute? These are the questions that plague me even still. I have to be honest that this morning I gave up slightly..and walked my bike the last bit. I shan't give up completely, I am just not sure that going to and from work is the proper avenue for my tour de france training. For now, I have to say that at one point I wanted to abandon the bike along the river trail I was riding, but did not. I have slightly more perserverance than that. Slightly more. We shall see. On another note, I am getting very excited for next weekend. Very excited.

gravity..is working against me

2008-08-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

I started my new job, sorry if you didn't get the update, last night..and I have to be really honest, it was not that fun. It wasn't terrible, but I really don't like working nights, and my body doesn't either. I have so much to do, and couldn't stay awake this morning to get anything done, so I just ended up sleeping all day (aside from someone who lovingly called me at 11:15..what did I say by the way, anything coherent? I doubt it.). I have to go back tonight, and I am ready to go, ready to see if it gets easier. My manager told me that I would only have to work nights until like October or so, and that makes me happy..that there is an end to the insanity in sight. I seriously do not know how people do it.
On another note, I got to see my very good friend Cassie this week, and finally got meet her husband Craig. It was so much fun to see her and hang out with her. So much has changed in the four years since we have seen each other, but for me it seems as though time just melted away. It makes me happy. I also saw Annie too, not to be overshadowed by Cassie's arrival in the state of Utah. Anyhow, I am kind of losing contact with some of you, whether because of my schedule or yours, and it is making me very upset. I can't seem to get someone, the same someone who woke me up earlier today, on the phone. And so I pose this question: How in the world do you expect me to make it through this journey without you? ;) Love to all.

back to the basics

2008-08-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel as though I get way too caught up in the goings on around me, and forget to pay attention, and keep up with the people that I love and care about. So for anyone whom I have ignored in the last little while, I apologize. There are things that we see that make us take notice of our lives, and make us realize that we need to get back to the basics. Family is the most important thing, and sometimes I can't quite believe that I moved away from my beloved family. I feel it is a test for me, and one that I don't always pass. I have to hear from my mom that my little brother has a new job, that my brother is buying a car, and other seemingly minor things, but thing I would have known firsthand had I still been living in the vicinity. I feel as though, my life would be a whole lot different if I would just stick to the basics and take care of myself, and stop focusing on trying to be everyone's friend (and maybe more than friends). I love you all. Take care of you and yours.

there was more

2008-08-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

I had a very buys weekend..and in fact it ended up taking alot out of me..and left me with the feeling today as if I was spread too thin and didn't have energy anymore. So Friday night there was a party I attended as a farewell to the guys (the very same guys I defeated at dessert night)..they are starting on new adventures very shortly and are leaving the provo area. So..in tribute to them (and at their particular request) I did what is referred to as the "utah poof" on my hair. It was frightening, but rather a hit at the party. The party was very fun..but I went after to IHOP for breakfast and didn't get home till like 2. Then saturday we had a ward service project in the morning and then I helped the guys pack all day and then went to see Prince Caspian in the dollar theater with 3 of the guys. It was fun..but I maybe overextended myself (ok..not maybe..I did). Sunday was a long long day and I felt not well all day..tried to take some naps..but didn't get enough rest to stave off the migraine that hit at 4 am this morning. I feel better now..but not without learning to take better care of myself and to keep my priorities straight. That's all for now.

not to be trifled with

2008-08-04T14:38:00.001-07:00

So..the much anticipated blog about the infamous dessert night showdown. After much careful preparation on both the freakishly awesome poem and beautiful trifle, I set out to the showdown. I have to pause here, just to catch anyone up who doesn't really know the stakes here. This competition has been going on for 6 weeks, with a different person/apartment preparing and presenting their dessert each week. The two with the highest scores are in the final. I am one of those two, the other group was a much beloved guys apartment in my ward, who during their first performance, dressed and danced the hula. So already, even before going, I am intimidated. They do not know this, and we have been smack talking back and forth for about a week. So, I am praying that all my efforts will live up to the hype. I get upstairs, and naturally the guys are not there, late as always. So with the help of a friend I start dishing up the first batch, and I leave the prettier batch for presentation. It is now 10:15 (event supposed to have begun at 10)..and in walks a painted guy. I cringe inside..they have dressed and painted themselves as oompa loompas, green hair included. They did not hold back, they prepared a pretty good dessert, white chocolate macadamia nut sheet cookie with ice cream on top. I feel I am beat before either one has presented. I start to freak out. Literally. A voice of reason basically conveyed that I needed to 'cowboy up'..and that my poem was awesome. So the guys arrange themselves as oompa loompas would (on their knees)..and begin the song "oompa loompa doopatey dee...." it is quite clever and funny. So..I get up there..all eyes on me..and with my best texas-accent and attitude..I recite my poem. There are cheers and laughter..particularly during the stanza about the boys themselves..and when I say "that's what she said"..there is actually applause. I feel quite pleased with the presentation..but at this point it could go either way. I begin serving my dessert..and in fact making sure everyone knows that it is mine..and that they should not forget to vote. So..we wait and wait. People have come in rather late..and are kind of more interested in socializing than voting. Finally the waiting is over..not before the oompa loompas attacked..and my face is now half orange. They gather us..and announce that the person who won gets a kung fu trophy because 'their dessert kicked butt'..and yeah that's right..I WON. I was pretty excited..and the guys were gracious losers..although the next day one commented that 'we were all winners.' Well, they have to tell themselves something.

plays and dancing

2008-07-26T22:57:00.001-07:00

So..Thursday was pioneer day here in the beehive state..and to be completely honest I didn't celebrate it really. What I did, however, was a complete blast. It all started with us deciding that we wanted to go sing karaoke, now I know that sounds crazy but hey..that's me. So, the girls I am going with find a place in Salt Lake..and it is set..problem is they want to leave at like 9:30 at night..and I have to be up at 5 the next morning. I debate about this issue, but I really want to go, and with some encouragement from those around me, I decide to go despite the fact that I will basically be foregoing sleep. So I get ready, lookin smokin hot by the way, and meet at my guy friends apartment for the trek up there. We get there, and there is no karaoke really, just a bar. Great, in my mind I have a flashback to a terrible trip we took to SLC my freshman year, where we were going to go dancing, and ended up at the worst dive ever. I just couldn't go through that again. Not to fear, after a quick stop at the Mickey D's (the guys were hungry)..we went to a LDS run dance club, where we were able to get our groove on, AND sing karaoke. Also, one of the guys I was with tried to teach me some Latin dancing, and further reinforced in my mind that I want to take dance lessons. Just so we're clear, I did in fact sing karaoke, not solo by any means, but we all took turns, and there was no shame in it!! It was so much fun, and I greatly enjoyed myself. What I did not enjoy was getting up the next morning at 5:30 (yeah, I slept in) after getting home at 2:15. But it was well worth it, blistered feet, extreme fatigue and all. There may be more I want to say, but not in this particular venue, so I will have to leave it at that!!
Tonight, after work, I went to a collection of short plays that one of the guys in my ward was directing, some were alright, but there were some really good ones. Then the group I was with (not a big group, just 3 of us) went and got shakes. I then went to my guy friend's apartment, where I was introduced to The Flight of the Concords, and I must say that was an interesting experience. I am not sure this is quite the explanation/description any of y'all were lookin for, but I just have to say that it was fun, and I am not sure what else you want from me? =)

success??

2008-07-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

So I had a very intense day today, and am thinking it was successful. I invited some friends who are going to be leaving for new adventures soon over for dinner, and maybe bit off more than I could chew on this one. I at first thought of making just some really good grilled chicken and then Melissa's vegetables, as we like to call them. Then after looking at some marinating recipes online and with the thoughtful input from dear Ry, I decided to instead make chicken/pineapple kabobs (which would be good without the pineapple, for those who are disgusted by the thought of them, as the recipe originally calls for red bell peppers instead). This is where the trouble started. Not to mention that my apartment was not really fit for people to see, which is my fault entirely, but still. So by the time I got back from the store (by the way I didn't get up at a reasonable hour, also my own fault) it was 3:30 and dinner was scheduled for 7:45. I TRIED to be organized and use this 15 min thing someone was telling me about, but I really was way too scatterbrained, and thought I had everything under control. By 5:30 my apartment was clean, minus the horrendous mess I was creating in the kitchen, and the chicken kabobs (not on the skewer) were marinating in the fridge. I thought I was on top of things. So I begin peeling and cutting vegetables, then I look up and it is 6:45 and the vegetables are not ready to go in the oven, and I haven't put the kabobs on the skewer, am not dressed, have not unloaded the dishwasher, the last batch of cookies is not out of the oven...PANIC. I call Ry to see if I can get it all done (and what would she have done if I couldn't..whatever..sometimes you need a voice of reason). She gives me a detailed list of instructions to carry out, and I start to do so. Put vegetables in the oven, but kabobs on skewers, clean out dishwasher, oh but don't forget to check on the veggies periodically and put the squash in close to the end to prevent a mushy mess. It is now 7:30..15 min to go..vegetables have been in for close to 40 min..and guess what..yeah that's right..potatoes and carrots are not even CLOSE to being cooked. You thought I panicked before..this is nothing..I am still not dressed..and the kabobs..while assembled are not going to get cooked..because the vegetables are still in the oven. I quickly load the dishwasher and clean off the counter, get dressed and check on the vegetables again (yeah they magically cooked in the last 10 min..NOT). So I call Ry in a near frenzy (thanks for the help and sanity by the way) and she tells me I will have to put them in the skillet I convieniently purchased today. I do so. I also put a pan of skewers in to broil, and begin grilling the rest as they won't all fit on my rather small cookie sheet. The time has come..it is 7:45..but not to fear..everyone was late. And by everyone I mean the 4 guys that showed up to eat this rather delicious meal I prepared. The first two showed up just as the first two kabobs were finished on the grill. They also got to sample cookies while we waited..and waited..the other two showed up..still waiting..and waiting..finally after depression and the resolve to never again cook potatoes set in..I pulled the vegetables out of the skillet and served them. Everything tasted really good, the guys said it was great...and a fun time was had by all. However..after the marathon cooking..it was like a sauna in my apartment..and kind of uncomfortable to be in. Oh well. Also..another girl did eventually show up..but not till after we ate..and me and 4 guys..not akward at all..thank goodness I can handle that kind of pressure.

you just don't understand

2008-07-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I saw Dark Knight last night..well really early this morning, but still. I have to say that it was wonderful, disturbing, amazing, and thoroughly creepy. I know that doesn't make sense, but you will just have to trust me on this one. Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace, made me want to cry but love him at the same time. And I can't even tell you how great Christian Bale is. That is all. You won't understand until you see it for yourself. That is really all I have for now. No news with work, so I decided to finish the residency and see what pans out. I am trying to be mature about this.

RN

2008-07-14T00:26:00.000-07:00

So..I passed my test!! The relief and happiness..and feeling of being so incredibly blessed has not passed yet, and hope it won't. I cannot express how elated (that's right) I feel right now. I am DONE!! This journey is over, and I can start a new and exciting one. Skate, I will try my best to get a job, meet people, and maybe, just maybe go on a date (no offers, don't get excited). I feel like crying (oh geeze) but out of complete and utter joy. In the back of my mind, there was that small (very small) part of me that thought this day would never come. I am so thankful to the Lord for standing by me and guiding my path (also thankful to my family and friends who helped along this incredibly long road). I love this feeling.

its over

2008-07-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

First I would just like to thank everyone who wished me luck, encouraged me, prayed for me, or just loved me through this whole ordeal. I finished my test in about an hour this morning (all that worry over an hour, right?!) and took 75 questions, which is supposed to be a good sign. I didn't feel like I knew the answers, but I felt (and still feel) calm. So whatever the outcome, I feel like it is the Lord's will. My home teacher brought me over some ice cream, my bishop's wife sent me some candy, and everyone generally buoyed up my spirits over the last couple of days. It was a draining day, but a good day. I am really happy to have that behind me. I have to work nights in the ER for the next week..not every night, but almost, and am slightly apprehensive, but after tonight I think I will be ok. Also, I went to IKEA for the first time EVER today..and I loved it. Didn't spend too much money, though. Anyway, I have to go to work, so I will cut the blog short, and just to clarify, I won't know how I did for a couple of days yet. Also, no word on any jobs. Till next time. Thanks again.

i did what?

2008-07-06T23:12:00.000-07:00

I have had a pretty busy and might I add random weekend. First on thursday night, my complex put on Independence Day out in the grassy area on a huge projector..I don't even really like that movie..but what else was I going to do. So I had to tell you that to tell you this, I ran into some guys from my ward who invited me to go float the river the next day, and in my memory that was tons of fun so I readily accepted. So the 4th comes around, and I go to wal-mart to buy an inner tube (as all the tire stores where one would buy a proper tube, are closed it being a holiday and all)..so I buy a tube that seems to be sufficient (and was)..and get ready to have a rockin time. I also bought various items that might be present at a bbq, as it was mentioned previously that we might have one after floating. So on my way to the guys apartment, I meet up with some friends that are not doing anything, so I invite them along, they said they would come but didn't have any kind of floatation device. We decide that they can use the rafts that you lay out on in pools (just as a side note, the last time I floated the river was 4 years ago, and the river has changed alot). We begin to float down, the water is frigid, and shortly after we start there is a bridge that for some reason unbeknownest to us is rather treacherous. It throws both the girls on the rafts (yeah brillant idea, right??) off and one of them is stuck under the current in some kind of whirlpool or something and is not coming up, I try to help, but the current is too strong and continues to propel me down the river, so I start yelling at the guys (who were behind us for this very reason). The girl thankfully surfaced shortly thereafter, just as the boys reached the bridge, and also got pummeled a bit. So moving down the river the two girls who got thrown get out as they are quite shaken, and understandably so. At this point there are two people in front of my and four behind me, yet as the near frozen river continues to swiftly move, I lose sight of everyone in either direction. I want to cry ( again with the threatened tears, I know), and want to get out so badly, but what can you do, its a freaking river, you just have to ride it. So as I now am traversing the river all alone, I meet these random group of people who catch up with me, and I get them to promise that they will help me when it is time to get off. I make it to the end after a few more trials, and more near panic attacks, and no one I know is there. So I wait, for what seems like for-ev-er (really 20 min) and finally everyone (minus the 2 girls who abandoned the journey) get out, and we all meet up and compare stories, and bond over the fact that our feet were so cold that when getting out and being then dependent on walking, it didn't quite work out, and crawling for a bit seemed much easier. We made it back to Provo a short time later, and find a hot tub to invade as we are all frozen to the core, then have a fun bbq, and walk up to the stadium to see the fireworks (where we HEAR miley cyrus performing, exciting huh??)..much to my delight the fireworks were AWESOME, as we were so close they seemed to be falling on us, and though it was exceptionally loud, it was so fun. To round off the weekend, in short, I had another bbq, played sand volleyball for 3 hours, watched emperor's new groove with lots of people from my ward (only in provo), and presented myself and boys that I floated the river with in front of the ward in song form (to the tune of part of your world), went to a crepe party and played scene it with people (and was one of few that knew the answers as most of the movies asked about were rated the bad letter). Busy weekend. Fun though. Now I can look forward to a week of studying, and then working nights in the ER. Keep me in your thoughts (and possibly prayers).

this week in review

2008-07-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Now, I have to tell you to start with that there is really not going to be much to update, but here goes. First to my sister skate: there really is nothing to tell you, but I will call you at some point, this is not the forum for that kind of talk. Second, I went to the pool the other day, to wait while my laundry was washing/drying, and ended getting burnt, not fun, but at least I am not pasty white anymore! So, today I finished my rotation in the cardiac ICU, and have to say that I loved it, and felt like I actually can function as a nurse on my own, and have the knowledge and ability to be successful. I had a job interview yesterday (!!) with a group of managers that may offer me a position with the ICU (not cardiac but just regular run of the mill really sick people), and some other areas. They term it the Critical Care Cluster, but I know for a fact that other people in my program interviewed for the exact same position, so I have to first hope that my bright and sparkling personality will win me the job, and that the ER really doesn't want me. So, we will see on that one. I have more than a few days off, but before anyone gets excited, I have state boards next Friday, therefore I will most likely spend the majority of the time studying (blah). And now, just to vent some frustration at being relatively young and having GREY hairs, I really don't appreciate it, and now, instead of 2, I have at least 3 or 4 that I can find. It is quite distressing, so I may be finding someone to do my hair this weekend, because I am kind of freaking out about it. Also, just a side note, I signed a year contract with my apartment complex (after deciding that I really could afford it) and made them give me a full bed (as I was promised) and LOVE IT! I found some really pretty sheets (300 ct) and am so excited about it! FINALLY..not a twin bed!! I also need to mention..that even though the olympics have not started yet, the trials have, and I am slightly obsessed (especially with Michael Phelps). Enough rambling for now, hope this satisified whatever urge anyone had to get inside my head.

ebony and ivory

2008-06-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

I went out on a limb tonight and prepared a dessert for our ward Dessert Night. I looked all over the grocery store looking for a great idea..and finally decided to make oreo pudding pie (oreo crust, oreo pudding and cool whip)..and was now going to have to find a very creative name for it and to top it off..have to present it to my entire ward. By myself. So...I called in reinforcements, after encouragement from Katie..Ryann (I thought jokingly) told me to call it Ebony and Ivory and sing the song by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney. I didn't even know that was a song..and I thought I knew a thing or two about MJ. Well..after talking with auntie and consulting the internet..heard the song (which is by Paul and Stevie Wonder..by the way). Well..at this point in time..I am pretty set on calling it Ebony and Ivory..and now about this song that I have just heard. It is pretty corny to be honest..but kinda funny. It is like 8:30 and dessert night is at 10. There is no way on this earth that I will be able to learn this song..much less learn it..but to sing it by myself in front of the ward. Not a chance. So..auntie informed me that there is a video on youtube. I consulted with a friend..and she said she would learn it and sing it with me..but she was busy till like 9:30. So I go up to the apartment where this glorious event is going to take place about 15 min before 10 and we look up the song on the internet..it won't play..but the video (which is totally 80s magic..in case you want to check it out) will..so I decide to scratch the singing and just give a little intro and play the video. Which is what I do. Everyone laughed..and said the dessert was really good. And..I met some really cool people who are in my ward..and we had a lot of fun. So it was a pretty great evening after all the build up and stress about the presentation. As a side note..I love the songs that are now on my blog..hope you enjoy.

do you know a good mechanic?

2008-06-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

I had plans for today..I was going to go to the temple, clean my apartment (we have cleaning checks tomorrow), go to lunch with a friend, and maybe spend a little time at the pool. Other than the cleaning..which I have yet to do..I didn't do any of these things, because when I went outside and got in my car, it wouldn't start. Great. Here I am miles away from family, and while there are mechanics on every corner..where to go? And..I don't really have any guy friends yet who could help me..so there I was stranded without anyone or anywhere to turn to. So..I call up a friend that is from the area thinking that her or her father perhaps would know where to go..and sure enough she told me where to go. So instead of the day I had planned..I took my car..which finally started..to the shop and spent the 3 hours it took to get it fixed walking around the mall trying to NOT spend money. (It almost worked..I spent very little) So onward and upward..car is fixed..and I am no worse for the wear. So I now have a mechanic..although..I am most likely going to invest in AAA so I don't ever have to not know what to do again.

My Four

2008-06-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

I was tagged..I think that means I am supposed to do one of these myself..so here goes.

Four Jobs I have had:
-Nurse
-Convenient store clerk (allsups)
-Winger's Hostess
-Target team member

Four Movies I would watch over and over:
-Roman Holiday
-Pride and Prejudice(the Keira Knightley version)
-Center Stage
-Memiors of a Geisha

Four Places I have lived:(there are more than 4..but here are four)
-Seymour, Texas
-Pinion Hills, CA
-Provo, UT
-Longmont, CO

Four TV shows I watch:
-Grey's Anatomy
-The Office
-Gilmore Girls (over and over)
-What I like About You

Four places I went yesterday:
-Work (UVRMC in Provo)
-Panda Express
-Dessert night at apt 307 (in my ward)
-To play Rock Band with boys (in my ward)

Four people who email me regularly: (I am counting Facebook and Myspace messages here)
-Joanie
-Tonya
-Krystal
-Janice

Four of my favorite foods:
-Orange chicken
-cafe rio burritos
-Chicken alfredo
-Ice Cream

Four places I would rather be right now:
-Asleep
-In Texas with my family
-At the pool (or other body of water)
-At lunch with Annie

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
-Passing state boards
-Going on a date (keep your fingers crossed on this one)
-Getting a job in a cool department in the hospital (ER..here I come)
-Going to family reunion!!

Four People I am tagging:
-Katie
-Ryann
-Joanie
-Cassie

survived

2008-06-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

I managed to survive my first rotation in my RN residency program. It started out pretty rough, as previously mentioned, but turned out to be not that bad. Once I got the hang of the computer system for charting and giving meds, it all boiled down to basic nursing, which by the way, I do know how to do. So all in all, I had a pretty good two weeks, and met some cool people and got some really good experience to prepare me for the challenges that lay ahead: the ICU and the ER. There are days when all I want is to work in the ER and other days when the thought of it scares me to death. I think this is part of the reason I want it, to overcome that fear and apprehension and to be able to say "i CAN do that." Friends and people I know are passing their state boards right and left, and it is starting to add to the already enormous amount of pressure I have riding on me. I HAVE to pass that test. Obviously, I need to stop blogging and study more, to ensure that I have done everything in my power, but it still kinda wigs me out sometimes. I mean, what would I do if I failed? I can't even begin to think about it. On a side note, I was alone again for lunch, my lunch buddy was off today, and so..I saw a spot at a table where there was just one guy sitting, and asked if I could join him, and turns out it was his first day in the hospital as an intern in one of the departments, and just moved here (by the way..lives in my apartment complex) and didn't know anyone, and didn't know where to put his tray. I was glad that I could help someone from having to sit alone and feel dumb like I did on my first day!

love it

2008-06-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

I have to say that today..I love the fact that I made this blog. It gives me an opportunity to let off some steam and to place my thoughts..where people who may care to read about the inner workings of my mind. My dearest mother disagrees with this particular forum, but at this point in my life, it is my decision. Life in Provo is turning out really well so far, and true..time has not been far spent thus far, but I feel positive about this whole situation. I don't mean to say..that marriage is fast approaching, it really has nothing to do with that. I feel like THAT will happen at some point in my life, and sure the prospect of a romance is enticing, but my life is becoming so interesting and full of new people and new opportunities for growth. I am hoping for new and exciting things. I also love that the LA Lakers lost the NBA finals. Makes me smile.

good day!

2008-06-12T16:07:00.000-07:00

So..i had a pretty good day yesterday at work, and feel much better about things. And today I talked with my manager about the issues that I had on Sunday, and she told me that I wouldn't have to be with that clinical coach again, and that she appreciated me bringing my concerns to her. It feels so good to have a manager that is so approachable and easy to talk to. She just understood where I was coming from, and made me feel validated in my concerns. It is really nice to know that she is there for me. I got my schedule for next rotation, and am going to be working in the cardiac ICU next, so that should bring some new and exciting adventures for me. I am just having a really good day! It makes going to work so much easier to know that my manager is so darn cool!!

Old Friends and New Friends

2008-06-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

I am so excited that coming here to provo has brought me back in touch with some old friends, and given me the opportunity to meet new ones. I had lunch today with Annie..and she is so awesome..I am so happy I got to see her. I also so Keriann and baby Johnny today, I love that I am here and get to see her being a mom. I also went to a movie with my roomate Rebecca, who is really cool. There is so many new adventures that are taking place and I am really looking forward to all that could occur. I am trying to be a better person all around, and to stay positive with work and with my not-so-social ward. I hope that there will be new things to learn every day, and meet new people, and become a little bit better each and every day.

I also just need to say that my nephew Isaac is so darn cute!!

growing up

2008-06-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have NEVER wanted to grow up. I mean, I cried when I had to wear a bra for the first time. It meant I was not a kid anymore, and to me that was just about the worst thing that could possibly happen. I still try to hold on to the kid inside me because being an adult and having to face adult issues is SO not fun. Seeing people that I care about struggle through some of these adult things is not so great either. I feel helpless, because there really isn't anything I can do to stop the struggle, but I want to so bad. It breaks my heart, and I want to cry, but I know that realistically there is not a thing I can do, other than pray for them. And sometimes that feels like it is so not enough.

first day..and all that that implies

2008-06-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

So I officially started my shifts at UVRMC here in Provo today, and there were so many things that I thought were going to be scary and there was a lot of apprehension going into this morning. So this post may end up being quite lengthy, but that is because there were a lot of emotions that came out of this experience.
To start off with I didn't get very much sleep, whether because of the anxiety and anticipation, or the fact that my complex was having movie night outside my apartment, or both. Regardless, I was so tired this morning. Thought I was going to have LOTS of time to get ready and everything, but I was dragging butt, and ended up almost being late. To top that off, I didn't know where to park, and forgot the breakfast and lunch I had planned to take with me. Needless to say, the day didn't start off so well. It kinda got worse before it got better. So I got there and was supposed to be working under this one clinical coach..and the charge nurse was like "oh, well he's not here today," and I wanted to say.."oh, well then should I just go home?" I felt real welcome. Anywho, they found some poor soul to take me on and show me the ropes. This nurse was having a worse day than me, because she spent all day fighting off falling asleep (she did actually sleep a few times), and being so disorganized and scatter-brained..that my anxiety level steadily increased. She did show me how to computer chart, which I was freaked out about at first, but it's all good now.
Then came lunch, the REAL low point. I went down to floor that the sign on the wall said contained the cafeteria ( I have NO idea where anything is in this place). So I get there, find something to eat, and sit at a table all by myself ( I also don't know a soul). So I am sitting there, nearing completion of my meal and I realize that I have no idea what to do with my tray once I am done. I don't see trash cans for my paper plate, and that is when I start to fall apart. I want to cry. Really. I felt so alone. I was praying that someone else would get finished so I would know what to do. So I make the mistake of calling my family, who is all together having a nice lunch together. And now I am miserable. I have to fight the tears and the "nose tingling." I finally find out how to leave the cafeteria properly and finish my shift with my sleepy but kind clinical coach.
So I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. That was not the intent of this blog. I just wanted to share the feelings I had. I am really happy to be here in Provo, much as I miss my family. I am happy that the first day is over, and nothing too tragic happened. I can now face the next shift with more confidence in knowing that I CAN do this. It won't ever be that hard and uncomfortable again. I will never have to sit lonely in the cafeteria not knowing what's what. I am a stronger, more knowledgeable person having had the experience I did. I love being a nurse, and I love meeting new people and learning how to be the best for my patients. All in all, the experience and the lessons learned are invaluable to me. I love my life. I miss my family like crazy, but am so thankful I have the Lord to turn to when no one else is here.

More about me...

2008-06-07T17:30:00.000-07:00

So at the request of a most beloved aunt..i am blogging for the second time today. More about my life, as a nurse I work 12 hour shifts, mostly days for now, but I have worked nights before and probably will again within the near future.

My family is one of my favorite things in life, and i have three brothers, one sister, and four siblings-in-law. I have 7 nieces and nephews..with another on the way. My parents are my heroes and I will love them forever for all the times they have been there to support me.

Something you may not know about me..I would one day love to write a novel about what I don't know..but it is in there in the back of my mind and will hopefully make an appearance at some point.

First ever blog

2008-06-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

So i saw this website on my old roomates facebook site and decided to check it out (kudos to you sarah), and so I am going to give blogging a try. So...a little bit to catch up those of you that don't already know this about me. I graduated RN school in May and moved to Provo Utah about two weeks ago to start work at Intermountain Healthcare's UVRMC hospital in Provo. I am very excited about this new adventure..even though I once again have to go through the incredible torture of being brand new in a BYU student ward. My roomate moved in earlier this week..and she is a nurse too, so there is a great understanding between us, particularly regarding the need for sleep (she works nights). I am trying to play catch-up with some friends from "before"..meaning about 4 years ago when I lived here for two years. I am loving life right now..but missing my family in Texas quite alot!

it's my life

lots of happenings..but check this out..PLEASE!

I challenge you...

i am cool

new blog...

a week apart...or something like it...

this is the new me!

i wish i had pictures...

BIG NEWS

when sleep eludes...

ode to bobbi

i heart books

*smile*

it's new...

i am not a duck

hey steve

things that sparkle...

this ones for you...

dark&twisty/bright&shiny

oh near...

happy halloween

"i can't be pretty anymore"

a question??

and its another...

"let not your hearts be troubled"

my adultness

"hey..guys..i kinda hurt myself..."

here we are...

i don't want to talk about it

and the school bell rings...

..will work for food

lookin up

...this ain't a fariy tale

it's never too late

my color coded personality

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

patience is a virtue

the love of a good book

give thanks for the farmers

driving around with you...

"another winter day has come and gone away..."

Ready Already

something random

turkey day

the five..again..

i am

what am i thinking?

changes

happy halloween

get on with it

quickly..as i am already behind

the world lost something great

life as i know it

ready..set..go

rise and shout

have to post this

..we are family..

fun times..fun friends

i'm not sure about this

...it's just like riding a bicycle

gravity..is working against me

back to the basics

there was more

not to be trifled with

plays and dancing

success??

you just don't understand

RN

its over

i did what?

this week in review

ebony and ivory

do you know a good mechanic?

My Four

survived

love it

good day!

Old Friends and New Friends

growing up

first day..and all that that implies

smile