i don't want to talk about it

So school is going really well..i have taken two tests so far..and gotten A's on both..hooray!! i feel very good about that area of my life right now. Needless to say that is the ONLY area of my life that I feel like I have a handle on. And as the title of this post suggest..I don't really want to delve into all that today. So maybe when I am not in a weird mood, I will once again feel the desire to share more details, but for now, suffice it say that in general things are well, I have a job, a home, a slightly bruised heart/ego, great friends, and new shoes. :) Blog on my friends, and keep me updated about all of your wonderful lives!!

and the school bell rings...

Yes, that is right, I started back to school this past week..to catch anyone up that is slightly confused by this..I am going to BYU this spring/summer and possibly longer to get some basics so I can finish up my bachelors degree in nursing. I decided to be a little bit adventurous ( and a bit crazy perhaps) and take statistics this semester..so we had our first lecture on wednesday up in salt lake. I took the class in salt lake for a few reasons, one because it is only two days a week (which means only having to take two days off of work), and because to be honest..everyone says it is easier up there..and any help i can get i am going to take, because I have not been in a math class since fall 2002 and that one did not turn out so well. I am however going to take it one day at a time, and I have some great friends and family who have been encouraging me and I know I am going to be great at stats..maybe ;)

a side note: the swine flu scare has kept me home from work the past two days..as I have been sick and my work does not want me there with suspcious 'flu-like symptoms'. to be clear, I am fine, just feeling a little under the weather. AND..I do not think the swine flu is quite the crisis it was made out to be.

..will work for food

ok so i don't really need food..i need an extra like 700 dollars so i can fly to hawaii because Ashley, who has been my best friend since i was six years old is getting married in july!! dang it. there is no way i can swing that..not since i am fixin to start back to school. maybe if i got another job, but i won't have time for that now that school is starting in like 3 weeks or so. ugh. why does it have to cost so so much?! oh so frustrating. so if you know of a way to get cheap flights, please let me know!!

lookin up

Things are looking good, I feel. I got back into BYU, with only a few hoops to jump through and am now avidly looking at what particular classes I need to take in order to get into a program to give me my bachelors degree. I am looking at different online programs and right now the front runners are university of utah and texas tech. So now it is just a matter of which place will accept me and how many classes they will require me to have before doing so (obviously the one with fewer required is the winner). I continue to keep my eyes and ears open for different possibilities for a new job. Also, I get to go to conference tomorrow and sunday and am very excited, though a little saddened that no one from the family was able to come. I am missing home right now, though not for any particular reason, just a general longing for the kiddos and the comfort of home. Going to get back to work now..though sleeping would be a lot better at this point in time!! :)

...this ain't a fariy tale

I stood there as the guy I like held me in his arms and told me I wasn't the one for him. After weeks of knowing he liked me..and him knowing I liked him, but trying to keep my emotions in check because I KNEW he had a history with another girl. I tried to hold on to the times when he was with me and how great he made me feel about myself, and ignore the fact that while he said he wanted to move on..he clearly did not. My mind was unable to control my heart. I really really liked him. He actually listened to what I had to say about every aspect of my life, and showed a genuine interest in who I am. It hurts because that has never happened before. It hurts because he didn't mean to hurt me. It hurts because I really do want him to be happy..even if it is not with me. I am stronger because of this hurt. He helped me realize how to be mature and controlled about my feelings, and how to have confidence in my instincts, and in myself. He encouraged me to do things that are scary, and I no longer feel scared. So despite the fact that it hurts, and that it will continue to hurt, I thank him for being who he is. There is no regret or remorse here..and I am moving on with a smile on my face (albeit..a shaky smile..but a smile nonetheless). And even though I agree with miss swift in that ..this ain't a fairy tale..I still believe that there will be a happy ending for me. :)

it's never too late

to become the person you might have been" george elliot. that is one of my new phrases to live by. everyday i come one step closer to becoming the very best version of myself. i have started (about 2 1/2 weeks ago) the nutrisystem diet plan..which i am hoping will help jumpstart some diet changes in me, and help me lose weight and get in shape. so far it is going well. i have been going back to the gym way more frequently and i feel alot better. it has been a little harder to go to the gym the last week or so because i had a slight incident where i was on the back of a friends motorcycle and we kinda wrecked (he layed it down on its side..not too bad because we were in the parking lot going pretty slow) but i got a pretty good road rash on my foot and it really hurts to wear shoes. but i will of course press onward and upward. oh and it was my birthday!! thanks for everything everyone..those who went with me to get ice cream..or took me out for japanese food..or got me my beloved harry potter books!! i love you all alot! i got back into byu so i can start taking some basics to get into a bachelors program (and then hopefully on to nurse practioner or physicians assistant school). nothing too exciting on the guy front..but there is always potential out there and i am keeping my eyes open!! i am super excited that jason and katie will be coming to visit for conference..it will be so good to see some family and hang out with them..plus i love conference and i am so excited to have tickets!! i would implore all of you out there to blog as well!! C'MON PEOPLE!!

my color coded personality

Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

14% Red, 51% Blue, 14% White and 20% Yellow!

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.

BLUE MOTIVE: Intimacy

BLUE NEEDS: To be good (morally), To be understood, To be appreciated, Acceptance.

BLUE WANTS: To reveal insecurities, Quality, Autonomy, Secuirity.

SUMMARY: Blues are motivated by altruism. They love to do nice things for others. they look for opportunites to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Blues seek intimacy. They want to be loved and to love. A true blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Blues crave being understood. They are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. Blues may have thier hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love. Blues are directed by a strong moral conscience. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, and their leisure time. A blue would rather lose than cheat. Ethically, blues are people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.

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