Saturday, March 28, 2009

...this ain't a fariy tale

I stood there as the guy I like held me in his arms and told me I wasn't the one for him. After weeks of knowing he liked me..and him knowing I liked him, but trying to keep my emotions in check because I KNEW he had a history with another girl. I tried to hold on to the times when he was with me and how great he made me feel about myself, and ignore the fact that while he said he wanted to move on..he clearly did not. My mind was unable to control my heart. I really really liked him. He actually listened to what I had to say about every aspect of my life, and showed a genuine interest in who I am. It hurts because that has never happened before. It hurts because he didn't mean to hurt me. It hurts because I really do want him to be happy..even if it is not with me. I am stronger because of this hurt. He helped me realize how to be mature and controlled about my feelings, and how to have confidence in my instincts, and in myself. He encouraged me to do things that are scary, and I no longer feel scared. So despite the fact that it hurts, and that it will continue to hurt, I thank him for being who he is. There is no regret or remorse here..and I am moving on with a smile on my face (albeit..a shaky smile..but a smile nonetheless). And even though I agree with miss swift in that ..this ain't a fairy tale..I still believe that there will be a happy ending for me. :)

2 comments:

auntie said...

This ain't a fairy tale? Of course not. That's because it isn't YOUR fairy tale. Not yet. Glad you are making progress and having clear thoughts about what is and what isn't and what is yet to be. Thank goodness you aren't lying catatonic in the woods somewhere being tracked by werewolves. And then having the audacity to write about THAT and having it take up a quarter of a very bad novel.
Lame? Not at all. Nothing from the heart is ever lame.

Jennie said...

No doubts that happy ending's coming. Love you much