dark&twisty/bright&shiny

There are days when the things that I witness, or events in the world (think Ft Hood), make me feel a little down. This is what we would call my "dark and twisy" days. I really try to spare all of you the depressing stories from the ER, and so you have been seriously lacking in stories, because frankly I, being the compassionate, emotional person that I am, feel sorry for just about everyone that comes through the doors. (ok, so not someone who, like me, just needs a few stitches to make them whole again) When I see families whose lives have just been shattered, or whose lives will absolutely never ever be the same again, I myself can flashback to a time when I was 12 years old and our lives changed forever, and find myself close to tears. For example, and I will keep this brief, seeing a husband whisper sweet tender words into his wife's ear as we are rapidly wheeling her into surgery to repair her broken body (8 broken bones, both legs in multiple places, both arms) after a horrible car accident, brought me down. I had to fight, really really fight the tears from coming. Or seeing a woman apologize to her husband for being rude to him earlier that day, when he is getting ready to go to surgery because he fell of the roof and broke his neck/back. These things are hard for me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, and love that I can perhaps bring hope or comfort into their lives, but I just need you to know that while I don't regularly post about the experiences in the ER, it is because I need to distance myself from the emotions.

Never fear, there are two sides to this coin, the bright and shiny side, which for me is around the vast majority of the time. There are so many things in my life that make me happy. I would like to list a few here, and this is in no way an inclusive list.
-music that makes me dance
-friends that make me laugh
-playing NERTS (wonderful card game if you didn't know)
-cute guys flirting with me (happens occasionally)
-movies that make me laugh (multiplicity, tommy boy, dodgeball, that thing you do)
-movies that remind me i am a girl (chocolat, the wedding date, chocolat...)
-books. the escape into another world.
-dr pepper (this is a bad habit i know i need to break)
-calls from family that make me cackle (insert "i am too fat for garters")
-text messages
-going to the gap
-knowing i will be in texas as close to christmas as i can get
-planning a party and having new and old friends agree to come (i REALLY do have friends ;0 )
-greys ( i love this show, and it can bring me to tears too)
-watching friends with my roomates (the show)
-good food
-trying to be reverent in sunday school
-the world champions in baseball (i <3 mr. november)
-football
So there it is. There are many many more things in my life that make me happy as well as things that cause me to stop and reflect and perhaps cry a little. Me, I think it makes me more balanced and a better nurse and person.

oh near...

I ventured to the dentist today. WHY? you ask (and I know you were asking, becuase who willfully goes to the dentist?)..well for a couple of reasons actually, I recently paid attention to the fact that I am paying bi-monthly for dental insurance and not using it, and because my teeth could use a good cleaning. So to the phone book I go to find a dentist near my house. Away I go. I am pretty positive I don't have cavities even before I go, thankfully I have really healthy teeth. My only other concern is the whole whitening process. I have been told by a few other professionals that my teeth shouldn't be whitened because of the stain/trauma/scar thing that is on my left front tooth (insert reason for such a thing: flippy thing gone wrong with kate at age 7). So after xrays and a thorough (and quite painful) cleaning, a very kind and cheerful (maybe TOO cheerful...) dentist informs me that the root on said tooth is calcified, and the way to fix it is a root canal and then a crown. I wanted to cry. Still do actually. I don't want to do it. I know I need to because my tooth is going to get more discolored and eventually hurt me in someway (think abscess here) and then the process will be worse. But really, I just like my teeth and don't want to have a root canal. So in the end all I can really say is... oh near.

happy halloween

I dressed up 3 times. I was supposed to be a rockstar-type individual. Don't know how well I pulled it off. But for two parties and 12 hours of work, it was a pretty good costume. I fully expect pictures from all of you that have children and don't. But especially kate and ry. So here is pic of me and my roomates at our ward halloween party.

"i can't be pretty anymore"

A friend from work told me this shortly after she cut off about 12 inches of her hair to donate to locks of love, and she was a little bit distressed about having short hair now. I thought it was funny at the time, until I decided to dye my hair teal. Yes teal. Let's think about that for a second, and now that if I had truly thought about it, I would not have tried it. Yet I did. So to the salon I go, thinking, they are professionals, this should be no problem for them. So we bleach oh about 4 chunks of my hair blonde, and then proceed to put the teal on top of that so it would stay. The ugliest color I have ever seen. Sea foam, mermaid-esque disgusting color. So I tell her just to make the pieces blonde again, thnking that will be fine. And it would have been, had she toned them or made them the same color, or even took the time to make sure they were evenly bleached. She didn't. At first I couldn't really tell how bad it was, but after many days trying to style and wash my hair, there were lots of pieces that were that dirty color blonde..really quite hideous. So new plan, my roomate who wanted to go to hairschool, help me dye the blonde pieces red. So we sectioned them off with foil, and proceeded to dye them, well a bright pinkish orange would be the best way to describe it. So back to the salon I go (of note, a different salon) where I now realize that in fact, I can be pretty again. With blonde and red highlights, I feel so much better about my hair and have possibly learned my lesson. Possibly.