There are days when the things that I witness, or events in the world (think Ft Hood), make me feel a little down. This is what we would call my "dark and twisy" days. I really try to spare all of you the depressing stories from the ER, and so you have been seriously lacking in stories, because frankly I, being the compassionate, emotional person that I am, feel sorry for just about everyone that comes through the doors. (ok, so not someone who, like me, just needs a few stitches to make them whole again) When I see families whose lives have just been shattered, or whose lives will absolutely never ever be the same again, I myself can flashback to a time when I was 12 years old and our lives changed forever, and find myself close to tears. For example, and I will keep this brief, seeing a husband whisper sweet tender words into his wife's ear as we are rapidly wheeling her into surgery to repair her broken body (8 broken bones, both legs in multiple places, both arms) after a horrible car accident, brought me down. I had to fight, really really fight the tears from coming. Or seeing a woman apologize to her husband for being rude to him earlier that day, when he is getting ready to go to surgery because he fell of the roof and broke his neck/back. These things are hard for me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, and love that I can perhaps bring hope or comfort into their lives, but I just need you to know that while I don't regularly post about the experiences in the ER, it is because I need to distance myself from the emotions.
Never fear, there are two sides to this coin, the bright and shiny side, which for me is around the vast majority of the time. There are so many things in my life that make me happy. I would like to list a few here, and this is in no way an inclusive list.
-music that makes me dance
-friends that make me laugh
-playing NERTS (wonderful card game if you didn't know)
-cute guys flirting with me (happens occasionally)
-movies that make me laugh (multiplicity, tommy boy, dodgeball, that thing you do)
-movies that remind me i am a girl (chocolat, the wedding date, chocolat...)
-books. the escape into another world.
-dr pepper (this is a bad habit i know i need to break)
-calls from family that make me cackle (insert "i am too fat for garters")
-text messages
-going to the gap
-knowing i will be in texas as close to christmas as i can get
-planning a party and having new and old friends agree to come (i REALLY do have friends ;0 )
-greys ( i love this show, and it can bring me to tears too)
-watching friends with my roomates (the show)
-good food
-trying to be reverent in sunday school
-the world champions in baseball (i <3 mr. november)
-football
So there it is. There are many many more things in my life that make me happy as well as things that cause me to stop and reflect and perhaps cry a little. Me, I think it makes me more balanced and a better nurse and person.
6 comments:
Hey, never feel like you shouldn't cry in the ER, trust me, many silent teas have been shed especially by me. I write and share my stories, even if its just with my coworkers--its oneof the best ways to cope! Our job is hard but its also amazing.
That was sweet Kara. I appreciate your list and lack of stories as I begin to cry at the very thought of you seeing such heartache. I am weak when it comes to pain and admire your ability to face those er doors everyday, knowing that pain awaits. You are an Oak.
You forgot to list how excited you are to be coming to visit your all time favorite aunt and your much loved cousins. Seth wants you to know that he is offended.
You my sweet are a blessing in itself, think how many lives you touch by doing what you do. I have seen and worked beside you and know without a doubt that you change the bad experiences when possible. Shine that smile and know that you are making a difference if but for a moment. Sometimes that's all it takes. You make my heart swell with pride.....
I think that you should add on your Bright and Shiny----BOBBI!!! But thats just a suggestion!
You are wonderful. I love you. And FYI I laughed so hard when I read "trying to be reverent in sunday school."
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