the world lost something great

Paul Newman has passed on. This is very saddening to all in the world, like me, who loved him. Besides being essentially the most beautiful man to ever be, he was a great actor..and from all accounts a good man. My heart is a little bit broken. As Jake told me, however, 83 years is a full life, so lets not get too dramatic. Anyhow..just wanted to memorialize Paul a little bit. If any of you don't know what I am speaking of, rent Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and then you will understand.

life as i know it

Things are so crazy busy right now..it seems as though I never have a moments peace. Whether it be because I rearranged things to go the gym at least 3 times a week..or being called to the Relief Society presidency..or just life in general I am not sure. I hosted dessert night at my apartment last night..and worked Tuesday night..so here is a brief rundown of my day wednesday..I got up at 12 (which is kind of early for me..as I went to bed at 7) and then had lunch with my dad..which made me so so happy. Then I went to wal-mart to get stuff to make cookies..and finish making my apartment look presentable. Then I got home and was making cookies and Keri and Johnny the stud came to keep me company, which also made me very happy. ..I then went to the gym with Annie which is going really well I think..but I was really stressed. When I got home..I still had a batch of cookies to make..had to finish cleaning..and take a shower..and only about an hour and a half before everyone was coming. Oh geeze. But I got everything done, and I think my apartment looked really cute..kind of decorated for fall..and there were about half the relief society girls that showed up. I think it went really well. My ward was having movie night outside after that..so of course I went with friends and curled up on the ground with a bunch of blankets and watched disturbia..it was a pretty crazy day..but overall I enjoyed it. But things are not going to stop being busy for a while I think..it seems as though I am either working, or having something to do for church, or going to the gym. But such is the life I suppose..I feel like my life will eventually slow down..but who knows..maybe this is the way things are going to stay. Also..exciting news..I bought my plane ticket to come home after the holidays (well after christmas anyway...as a first year nurse..I HAVE to work)..so I will be in Texas from Dec 26th till Jan 12th..very happy about that. Thanksgiving is still up in the air..I know I have it off..but don't know if I will have the time or money to go anywhere..we shall see. Have to get back to it.

ready..set..go

Ok..so I did not enter a race or anything..just really couldn't think of anything else that conveyed the excitiment..and trepidation I feel about the new journey I have embarked on. I joined a gym. Take a minute..catch your breath. I know..it is not necessarily the first time this has occured..just the first time I have this kind of resolve. There is a force driving me that I have never had before. Not to say that I don't still feel like there is a chance I will fail. But now I have a secret weapon..her name is Annie..I cannot express how grateful I am that at this time in my life I am here..so she can be by my side. See, for those of you who do not know..Annie is not only a great friend..she is a trained personal trainer. And she is helping me. She swears I am doing her a favor by allowing her to use her talents/training/education..but really and truly..she is helping me make a change in my life that I never had the courage for before (substitute courage for any number of words..motivation, determination, willpower..any of these also work). I have now gone to the gym for two consecutive days..and while getting up and going to work was slightly more difficult than it was before..I feel better mentally about myself. I have way more realistic goals than I have ever had previously, and I know that even though Annie will not be with me everytime I go to the gym (just for two wonderful weeks..the most important two weeks..in my opinion)..I have her to support me. I also have the encouragement from all my family, my mom, my beloved aunt..my sisters, my dad. This is such a big step for me..so if you see me in the near future..give me a little push in that direction..because there is still a part of me that is scared that it isn't going to happen, that I am going to give up for some, as of yet, unseen reason.

rise and shout

..the cougars are out..on the trail to fame and glory!! That is one line from the wonderful BYU cougar fight song that I had a chance to sing a record (for me anyway) 9 times at saturday's game (8 td, one fg). But I am jumping ahead here..there was more to it than just going to the game (isn't there always with me?) So I had to work Friday night, which was fine, didn't have to do much, but I was very tired when I woke up on Saturday at 12:30..with only an hour to get ready for the game..which shouldn't have been a big deal..except...the tickets that I have I kind of purchased underhandedly..(i know..shocking)..I had a friend of mine who is still a student buy an all-sports pass (really i bought it under her name and student ID)..and then she just emails me everything she gets from them. Also as a side-note we were told that with the student tickets this year you would have to show a student ID (which I thought was highly unlikely as there are thousands of people going to the games..and this would take and inordinate amount of time)..so I had a different friend who is graduated loan me her ID (we look nothing alike) because I could not find my old one. Anyhow..back to Saturday..I open the email the tickets are supposed to be in and it says that they were to come as and attachment..and there is no attachment..call the girl who emailed me..tell her they are not there..could she check to make sure she doesn't have another email with an attachment..no such luck. There were almost tears. And to top it off..even if I could get the email with attachment..the printer I recently purchased is not installed..and it is already 1pm. So I call the ticket office to find out which email address they are sending the tickets too..and call the girl back and we locate the tickets. Meanwhile I am stupidly trying to get my printer installed in a hurry so I can print them off..because in my mind I think that if I have to go to the office to do it..it will take forever (and this installation is not taking anytime at all?!!!) So it is now 1:30..kickoff. I am at home..email in hand (so to speak) making my way to the office to get it printed out. I live close enough to the stadium that I can hear the goings on. Without me. I finally get the ticket printed and begin the 10-15 min walk it is going to take to get to the stadium. I get there..finally..I have missed the first touchdown..and have to sit by myself..I don't mind..and by the way..they did not check the ID at the gate. As I look out on the field with the giant Y in the center..my breath catches..I am so excited to be back here. So excited. It was a little warm out..and because of the sun I got sunburned on half my face and one of my arms..but it was all worth it to see the cougs rout the bruins of ucla 59-0. Wonderful. Stayed for every second. Glorious day.

have to post this

This is my family. Not ALL of them..but all that were at the family reunion previously mentioned. It was cold and rainy..but here we are!!

..we are family..

Labor day weekend brought about the 3rd annual Willden family reunion (2nd for me, but that is not the point). We congregated at the Flaming Gorge KOA campsite in Manila, UT. I was very excited to be there, and was even more excited that it only took me 3 1/2 hours to get there..and would have possibly taken less time if I had not had to make 2 unexpected stops at the wal-mart for shoes of all things. I was able to see my parents, brother/sister-in law, sister/brother-in-law, and their beautiful children, grandparents, and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was so good to see everyone, it revived my spirits a great deal. Most of it was just hanging out by the campfire, eating, and just talking about things, but that was almost my favorite part. Just to reconnect with family members who I haven't seen in anywhere from 2-8 years was fantastic. My real favorites though were the family kickball game, where I was on the winning team and did in fact contribute to the win by catching a ball my brother kicked (it is quite an accomplishment, as I don't think I have ever bested him in anything). Then the campsite was having karaoke, which you are all aware that I already love..and I convinced my sister and cousin to sing with me, we did a spectacular rendition of Carly Simon's 'You're so vain.' It was pretty awesome! The women in the family then sang 'love shack' during which my mother did some wonderful dance moves and goosed everyone one of us!! It was so much fun, just to be able to make a fool of ourselves and not be ashamed about it. It rained that night, which caused problems for those sleeping in tents (not me) but we made it through. Saying goodbye was not the easiest thing ever, but with promises from everyone to stay in touch and see one another the next year made it slightly easier. People and circumstances of our lives change, but it doesn't change the fact that we are family and are bonded by love.